Of course it would be nice that after the 12th month of life someone pushed a button hidden in their spleen and all of a sudden they were sleeping 8 – 10 hours a night. It would also be nice if I could finish perfecting my teleportation device but alas… neither of those seems to be likely.

Actually some would argue that after the first year, it only gets worse for a while.

Some would argue that at this age a child should be fully expected to sleep through the night and that not doing so is a direct result of bad parenting. Obviously something that can be fixed with a few nights of Ferberizing.  Why are we still dealing with this no sleep problem? We must be doing something wrong…

Except no, that is not the case.

During this second year they really start hitting some major milestones. One of them one that will last you for the next year or so even. Which one?

Talking. Yep.. when those first words start flowing their minds start racing. They start making connections between words and people, between words and actions… between words and getting what they want!  They start off with one word or two… then they make short phrases… then we move onto 3-5 word sentences. Before you know it they are articulating why they do not need to go to bed yet and how it is detrimental to their inner child for you to force them to eat spinach.

This one is a biggie because it takes a long time to really get communications skills as a toddler/infant. They do not wake up one morning speaking to you and doing the New York Time crossword puzzle.  This is gradual so of course the sleepless nights that come from it may be many.

You know what other thing really keeps kids awake? Especially if you dont do it right… solids.

For those parents who think that starting a kiddo on solids at 4 months is going to help them sleep through the night. Please think again. When your child is not ready for solids all that solids do is make their tummy act up. Which doesnt let them sleep.   As most kids over a year old will be on some type of solid food, it is important to make sure that you do not overload them with new foods at all once… but instead gradually introduce new foods. Food exploration especially in the beginning is basically about that… exploration. It is about trying out textures and tastes.. not really nourishment per se.  Self feeding is a big milestone for some kids. Since we really had ours start self feeding from the beginning it wasnt a big deal at all.

Really, anything new that they do is a real big deal for their minds/bodies. Going up the steps… big milestone.  Learning to scribble while holding a crayon.. milestone. Peekaboo, pretend, stacking… milestone, milestone… and milestone.

Then of course in this year is when the tantrums start gearing up. Why? Because they cannot communicate what they want and they do not understand quite yet self control.  They are pure id if you want to put it in psychological terms. So while they learn to express themselves and while they learn self control their minds are going full steam ahead into these milestones… and sometimes they simply cannot stop.

My daughter has fitfull sleep for a while when she is working on a new project in her mind. She works it out a great deal in her sleep, she even talks a bit about it.  I can tell when she is trying to piece together pieces of something because she is fixated on it. She does not want to go to bed until it is over and she does not want to let go until it is all done.

Then when they sleep they pass out in weird places like this one above… he is asleep on a beanbag upside down with his legs in the air… oh man if he wasnt so cute all of this would be much harder.

There is no magic cure for sleeping and there is no magic cure for anything that is child related that would work on all kids… but put yourselves in their shoes. Their little shoes are busy and full of excitement, this is why they need you the most.

As parents, sleep is one of those things that we never get enough of, are always talking about, and are always looking for more of.  Even parents of kids who can be considered “good sleepers” have their moments when they wonder if they will ever get a good night sleep again. Usually these time periods can be predicted if you look at when milestones are being met and when growth spurts are happening.

Right now Calvin is in the middle of growing molars and mastering speech. This obviously means no sleep for us and nursing non stop.

Between having two kids in two years and having them both be crappy sleepers (though I thank my lucky stars that Calvin is much better than Kate was) I have become a master as blaming their crappy sleep (and my crappy sleep) on one of the three things mentioned above. Honestly they are all pretty much related, milestone achievements can lead to sleep regressions… growth spurts can lead to more nursing which = no sleep for me. All in all a clusterf*** of exhaustion for all of us.

When Kate was born I was pretty sure that her cluster feeding was just a product of her being the spawn of satan or me having to pay for some bad karma that I racked up when I was young and stupid… or something of the sorts.  Of course I later found out that those first few weeks babies go through a ton of growth spurts. No wonder we are all exausted! But think about it, if you know how bad it is to watch these spurts from the sidelines… can you imagine how exhausting it would be to actually be having those spurts? Think about it.

7-10 days, 2-3 weeks, 4-6 weeks, 3 months, 4 months, 6 months and 9 months (more or less).

This is when Kellymom says that growth spurts happen. So lets say that you are a baby who just went from being inside of a warm womb, to being ejected out into this world and all of the sounds, smells, and sights that come with it… then just when you start settling down you have this huge growth spurt. You have to eat and eat!!! Nothing can satisfy you, you are antsy, you body is doing things left and right… and you have no idea why. Then you are ok for a day or two.. maybe a week. All of a sudden, there we are again!! Eating while you are growing and growing while you are eating… and this goes on almost non stop for roughly 3-4 months. If it exhausts you to think about doubling your weight in 3-4 months, and learning to see things, and making noises, and learning to nurse, and trying to exercise those muscles that you will need to walk, crawl, and run… can you imagine actually doing it?

Really, our tiredness is nothing compared to what they go through in such a short time.

Unfortunately, during these growth spurts many mothers decide that they are not producing enough milk and start supplementing. During these times when their babies need the best nourishment the most… they give up.  Why? I think it is a lack of understanding of what growth spurts are, and what cluster feeding is really… kids are supposed to do cluseterfeed. They are supposed to feed all day and all night. This does not mean that your are defective. This does not mean that your breasts dont work. Why? Because breastmilk production is supply and demand. If your child needs more, they will nurse more… and you will make more… and it will keep going like that until your supply is regulated to be what your child needs. I do understand though, being exhausted already because of the lack of sleep and then having to deal with a baby who just wants to be attached to you like a milk tick… it can be hell for sure.

Just when you think that you have the growth spurts down and that your child will give you a break… the milestones start to hit you one by one.

One of the first ones that my kids really battled with was rolling over. My kids were born holding their head up so they started trying to roll over just about immediately, this really kept them awake at night. It didnt help that it was compounded with teething as well. My kids both had teeth at 3-4 months making the 3-5 month period pretty much unbearable.

For many kids sitting up on their own is a big milestone that really keeps them up at night.  For mine it wasnt that bad, or maybe because we had such awful beginnings this didnt seem as big a deal.

Around the four month is also when the “four month sleep regression” starts.  If you think about it, it does make sense though… kids have a great deal to process on a daily basis. They are learning and observing, so it is obvious that their sleep will be troubled until they are at a comfortable place in their minds… which wont happen for a good while.

After this it may seem like you are getting a break… if teething doesnt rear it’s ugly head… but then you reach 7-9 months and we start standing up, cruising, and walking. For most kids at this age the teeth are really bothering them and their minds are even starting to process things like words and commands. They can understand languages and they recognize their parents, maybe they can even say “mama” and “dada”. Processing language and more motor skills does a real number on infants.  This 8 month sleep regression that many parents experience is the point where many parents consider starting to sleep train or letting their child cry it out. They feel that since their child is older it should be expected to have them self soothe and that CIO is a good tactic.

Again, let’s look at this from the POV of an infant. You are learning and experiencing new things and your body is doing it’s own thing… you have no idea what is going on but one of the few things that you DO know is that you have two people who look after you and you have seen them every day of your life. Then one day, they are not there… and you need them and you cry… and you have no idea why they are not there anymore. So in the midst of all of these new and exhausting events going on through your life… you are alone. Yes, it is only for a few minutes… this is what the books and some of your friends might say. It isnt for very long… it isnt forever. But answer me this.. how does the child know this?  They have no concept of time yet and they do not understand why for 15 minutes you were not there.

This wraps up the detail of the first year of torture that as new parents we are put through.  I cant give you a solution s to how to make your child sleep, nobody really can… and if they promise that they can they lie. However, I can do this… I can tell you that you are not a failure… that your child is normal… and that this too shall pass.

I will write more about what comes after the first year next.  No, the hell does not end yet… but yes you do get a bit of a break.

As a growing girl I was told by my peers that having hair on my body was considered gross. Boys told me about it and girls mocked me for not wanting to shave. Of course being an impressionable young thing I did give in and started shaving my legs, armpits, and other regions which I had been told needed it.

The older I got the more I realized that I really did not have a reason to shave.  It seems like people have been removing body hair for many reasons through out the years. The Egyptians apparently did it for “cleanliness” and to avoid mites, lice and to keep cool. It seems that they are credited for having invented body sugaring which is still used today by many who are seeking depilation treatments. Some people remove their hair for religious reasons at different points in their life, and I know that in biblical times hair removal was used for many reasons.

In Deutoronomy 21: 12 hair removal is used as a mean to control and humble women. In 1st Corinthians 11: 5 and 6 it speaks of women who have not been humble enough to cover their heads when necessary and how they must be shorn. This gives a really interesting view as to how shaving is used today in my eyes. Is shaving being used as a way to keep women humble? I could go on… but I wont.

Removal of hair is not really convenient, can be downright painful, and is quite expensive.  Marketers spend millions of dollars advertising razors that dont leave bumps, waxes that promise longer lasting results, and showing us pictures of long cellulite free legs in short shorts without a single stray hair present.  These pictures promise us that we too can reach that level of happiness with our lives and with the way that our bodies look in teeny weeny bikinis. The perfectly manicured toes and tanned legs tell us that we too can look this good…. if we just shave our legs with their products. Hair removal is quite serious business folks.

How did this all start?

It seems like history likes to point at this ad as the start of all of the ruckus.  One day this ad showed up in Harper’s Bazaar in May of 1915… and the sales of razors grew. They havent looked back since. The advertisers haven’t looked back either…

With ads that say things like “for faultless grooming” and that make underarm hair seem like it is a disease they we hope nobody gets, it is no wonder that shaving has become the important part of grooming in women’s lives that it currently is. It is said that women spend 60 days of their life removing unwanted body hair and that is a great deal of time.  Too much time if you ask me… especially since we have no real reason to have to remove our body hair other than marketers and society telling us that we should.

If someone wants to remove their body hair by all means, do so… but my job as a mother is to make sure that my children know that it is their choice. It is not mandated by some higher power that body hair be removed and it is not something that they should do to fit into society… it is just an expectation, and a flawed one at that. While I understand that it is not some new idea that hairless = beautiful it doesnt make it ok to keep the flawed expectation up.

Even questions like these on a popular website for Q&A when it is asked if women should shave their armpits the answer is

I think it is good hygiene for women to shave their armpits

But is there really any proof that it is not good hygene to leave hair alone?

As a parent, how will this discussion be brought up in your household? Iwill fully disclose my history of shaving and how I phased certain parts of it own. I still chose to shave on occassion but this summer I basically spent it razor free and quite enjoyed it. I go back and forth depending on how I feel but hope to one day really just not ever go back.  I sometimes do fall prey to peer pressure and feeling like I have to shave to be feminine and womanly.  We are constantly bombarded with the informationt hat it is necessary. I saw an ad recently that showed how shaving their legs was a rite of passage that women needed to go through when they hit puberty and how it was a bonding thing between mother and daughter. I can think of a lot of things that I can use to bond with my daughter and I do not believe that in our family starting my daughter off in a ritual that has no business existing in the first place will be one of them.

I have to admit that I just sat and stared. I wouldnt have stared if she has just popped out the boob because to me this is normal… but covering one’s self with a blanket? That is NOT normal in my book. I asked a friend of mine who says that she covers up occassionally why she did it and her answer was that she thought that church was appropriate so that she was not a distraction to those at church.

I guess my question now is, how is a mother feeding her child a distraction?

There is a huge constant debate as to whether breastfeeding in public is lewd or not… on whether it should be legal or even protected. The most common things that are said to breastfeeding mothers are “Can you please cover up” and “Can you please go to the bathroom”.

Hooter hiders, or other covers are really just sending out the message that breastfeeding should be hidden and is somehow indecent. Who can blame people for thinking that?  Even people like Barbara Walters are more than happy to say how breastfeeding makes them uncomfortable and how wierd it is.

Who can forget last year when Barbara Walters relayed a derogatory anecdote about witnessing a woman breast-feeding on an airplane? “It made me very nervous,” Walters said on the May 17, 2005 airing of the ABC talk show, “The View.” “She didn’t cover the baby with a blanket. It made us uncomfortable.” Co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who was nursing her daughter at the time, went even further adding she was “uncomfortable breast-feeding in general.”

Why are we asked to cover up or hide? Mostly it is because of the children. People do not want their children exposed to our bear luscious breasts because their eyes might explode into their brains or something. So I say that we start our own campaign to hide bottle feeding.

Bottles are a part of our culture so much that most dolls come with them.  At baby showers some of the most popular decorations are bottles and pacifiers. One of the most popular gifts for new mothers apart from diapers… are bottles. We are inundated with propaganda about bottlefeeding on a regular basis. When do you see a baby breastfeeding on tv? in a movie? in a magazine ad? It is as often as you see bottlefeeding? How about at all? I am personally offended by being surrounded by bottles. I do not want my children to grow up thinking that you are supposed to feed a baby with a bottle unless it is completely necessary. Who can I go to when I see a bottle feeding mother to complain? Of course all of this is said with tongue placed firmly in cheek, but my main point stands. Breastfeeding is just that… feeding… with a breast.  If bottle feeding does not get harassment, breastfeeding should not either.

This is why people use cover ups for nursing. Eventhough some people might say that they are for breastfeeding and that they are for families the sight of a woman nursing her child is too much for many and as a result mothers react by hiding. I think we need to make breastfeeding the norm. There was an excellent article on Mothering called “Breastfeeding in the Lang of Ghengis Kahn” that really struck a chord with me when I read it.  In this culture they would never think of having a law to protect breastfeeding because it would not even be necessary. While I am glad that we have laws to protect us… I am sad that they were needed.

This week is the date of the Breastfeeding Challenge. We will be having it at the BIRTH Fair this Saturday and I am helping with organizing it. I think that things like this are necessary until we get to a point where breastfeeding in our culture is the norm. Where mothers are not harrassed and where motheres are not being told or being made to feel like they should hide or cover up when nursing their child.

“What a waste, he spent the last decade of his life raising his child isntead of moving up in the world. Now he will have to start over again at barely above journeyman salary. This would not have happened if his wife would have done the child rearing like she should have.”

Needless to say I completely lost it on him. This family was obviously not suffering, the wife had a good career and the father chose to stay home for the benefit of his son. His son is doing wonderfully and is old enough to not need Dad there as much so he has decided to go back to work.  How is spending time raising your child a “waste”? This goes for both men and women. When educated women leave the workforce to care for their children people often say that they are wasting their degrees.  Somehow we have decided that raising childen has no value, or at least not the value of a career.

How did we get to this point?

Today we went to the store and saw these:

Taco set

This is a set for people making tacos. Seems innocent enough right?

Except not… this is what is included in the taco set.

taco holders?

Forgive the pic quality please this was taken with my camera phone… but anyways.. taco holders?

Seriously?

How are these necessary? And talk about a uni-tasker!!!   Why do people need little contraptions that hold their tacos up for them? Isn’t that what your hands are for? TWO HANDS for TWO TACOS!

If you see another use for this please email me or drop me a line. Until then I shall keep using my hands to hold up my tacos.

I guess many of you are asking yourselves why it is important to have a day where women show their tits to strangers in group, well… there are many reasons for it but here are a few:

Here are the laws for breastfeeding by location. There are some places where mothers are still not protected from people trying to make them stop breastfeeding in public and even in places (like Texas) where there are laws that protect us people STILL feel the need to try and get us to either cover ourselves, go into bathroom, or stop all together. It has happened to many of us, me included. It has happened to be at the airport where a very rude waitress asked to go into a bathroom and insisted even after I told her what she was doing was illegal. It happened to be at Discovery Green park (and to other mothers) so much that we were on the news for it. They have since completely been supportive of it and had better training for their staff but it did happen to many of us. The point for making a stink out of breastfeeding in public in cases like the Discovery Green one was not to get someone in trouble. It was not to fire someone. It was solely to get them to respect us and the law. Neither I or the other mom who was on the news with me got any compensation for it and we did not ask for the heads of those who wronged us on a silver platter. We have both been there since, it is actually a favorite place of my family’s to go. I love the park and what it does for the green Houston community.  I was there for World Yoga Day with my family and kids two weeks ago and they always have events that we love to go to.

boobs

Why is our society such that breastfeeding in public is a taboo? Why do we get sneers and comments? This must end and this is the goal of the Breastfeeding Challenge.  Breastfeeding is simply feeding a child,  why don’t bottle feeding mothers get told to cover themselves or go hide in a restroom?

Breastfeeding must be seen as normal again and to get it that way there needs to be exposure to more breastfeeding mothers. We need to get out of hiding from behind out hooter hiders and from outside of the bathrooms that we have been pushed into. We need to be proud of what we are doing and not be afraid of doing what we need to do for our children.

So take them out, twirl them around, be proud! Your boobs are powerful!

I have been reading Babywatching by Desmond Morris recently in my spare time (because I have a lot of that apparently) and have come to understand better why attached parenting just makes sense to me.  Desmond Morris studied zoology and really goes into some evolutionary aspects to parenting and babies. He praises homebirth and how much more peaceful it is, he is against letting a child cry it out. He doesnt use “hippy dippy” reasons that many people dont like to read about, he uses science. His theories have been that we are basically “Naked Apes” and animals who just need to understand our instinct and follow it. Child rearing is very instinctual, or it should be.

One of the reasons why I feel so strongly about parenting is because I see many mothers/fathers who say that they know that something feels wrong/right but they dont follow their instincts because they are told by others (friends, family, books) that what they are doing is wrong. Mothers have been known to cry while they allow their child to learn to “self sooth” at a young age, but why do they do it? They were told that they were supposed to. Why are we so far gone that we no longer follow our own gut feelings about raising our children? Have we lost that gut feeling?

For me parenting is very primal. I must admit that I do run around with my kid attached to me at the breast while in a sling while topless many times at home. I like to go “native”.  Hey, it helps when you have thrush.    I really am liking the way that this book explores children. It lets us know how aware they are, much more aware than we give them credit for… and how we are parents can influence them and help them grow.  I am pleased to find a book that is about Attached Parenting that really has no agenda, he isnt selling slings or co-sleepers… he is just sharing his findings after years of research on animal behaviours.  I dont know if Desmond Morris would have called himself an attached parenting advocate, but he is definately an insintctual parenting advocate.

Now, what does this have to do with sitting in the bathroom while my daughter sings while she poops? I am not sure, but I know that my gut tells me that this is what I should do.  I should sit with my child while she experiences the scary world of potty learning. I should reinforce her beliefs that I will be ther for her in every way.  This is a good thing.  Yes, it is boring sometimes and the songs get endless and repetitive, she she needs me… so I am here.

Both Michael and I went to public school (well I went to private for a while but lets not go into how much I hated that system right now) so we know the good and bad for that system.  We really dont agree about what to do with our kids though.

Mike believes that the public school system is fine. That any shortfalls that the system might have we can supplement at home. He believes that children need interaction with other children and that they need to be exposed to things that are different and that they might have problems with. It teaches them to cope in the real world.

I believe that the system itself doesnt permit children from learning what I want my children to learn, and that it hampers the development of other skills… in our current school system they are taught to take tests so that their school will have enough kids passing that they dont lose funding.

As you can see, we are an at empass.

My preferance would be to homeschool the children. While I know that it will be hard since we both work full time… I know it is possible and I have a tremendous amount of discipline when it comes to schooling. I think a happy medium for us might be a Montessori or Waldorf school… so I have been doing research on both…

We are already incorporating aspects of both in our lives… so here is what we have learned: Waldorf v Montessori

Both have the child at the center… not a test.. not goals… just the child. Respecting the child as a person, their own schedules, their creativity, their wants, their needs… their mental and emotinal wellbeing. This is important for me.

Both are very much into making sure that the child doesnt need stimulation from technology. No TV and video game addicts… they both have programs where the kids either plant outside or play outside.. if nothing else they feel the dirt beneath their fingernails and the sun in their faces.

Both are very much about nature and things found in nature. Wooden blocks, wool, handmade… little plastic/no plastic. The things that are used can be made at home and creativity with basic shapes and toys is encouraged.

Both stress the importance or art, music, instruments, acting, etc.

Both of them seem to be flexible when it comes to adapting to the ways that different children learn.

However they have key differences:

Waldorf is more about letting the child be a child. It involves fantasy, fairies, pretend, make believe. It relies heavily on storytelling and fantasy and the children are encouraged to be creative and there is no limit to how materials can be used.  Actually materials that are unfinished and freeform are a big part of the curriculum. Playsilks, wooden block, sea shells, dolls with minimal detail on their faces (waldorf dolls). Playstands where children can pretend, act, and delve into a world of their own is a big part of what is encouraged.

From the book “Magical Child” by Joseph Chilton Pierce

The great rule is: play on the surface
and the work takes place beneath. For the child, the time is always now; the place, here;
the action, me. He has no capacity to entertain adult notions of fantasy world and real
world. He knows only one world, and that is the very real one in which and with which
he plays. His is not playing at life. Play is life

Academics are actually kept away from children under the age of 6 or 7, their “job” so to speak is just to play.  Children are not introduced to reading or writing until this age as well. Books are not even present in the classrooms.  The idea is to allow the child to bloom on their own and not to try and push them into learning because that gets in the way of them being children and of them developing their creative mind. The structure is more traditional than Montessori is as Waldorf does have teachers that lead classrooms and that lead teaching. This teacher also helps in the social development of the child, guiding in song and dance and in developing group consciousness.  The curriculum changes with the seasons but there is a great deal of rythm in the school day.  Waldorf seeks to nurture the child’s imagination instead of the child’s intellect, especially in the younger years. Kids are kept with kids of their same ages. The schools are more like homes, they are warm and inviting.  Importance is given to “feeling” intelligence.

Montessori does not stress the make believe as much, it leans towards “practical life”.  It is grounded in reality. Children are given the opportunity to take part in learning while doing. They have little “jobs” and are given responsbilities appropriate to their age and ability.  This is supposed to help give the child sense of accomplishments and opportunities to learn how to do things that they otherwise would not have been given the opportunity to do.

Kids are kept with kids of similar age ranges but not necessarily the same age. Younger kids learn by mimicking and they teach each other sort of. The teacher is not really a leader but just helps facilitate. The teacher gives one on one instruction to children throughout the day but the children are not told what they must play with at a certain time period. There are schedules that could be suggested that some children do like to follow but it is never forced and the child is permitted to follow what they might feel like doing at this time. It is more “real life”. Drawings of things are not used, but real photographs or if possible the real example of the object being discussed. They describe playing as “work” because it is considered a real adult activity.  Creativity is encouraged but Montessori believes that there is creativity in everyday things, like cooking and cleaning and discovering plant life in your backyard.

Intellect is nourished and it is more structured. The idea is that you dont tell the child what to learn but you give them the opportunity to learn all sorts of things by making sure that they are exposed to them and allowed to move from one to the other at their leisure. It believes that children are like sponges and will absorbs what they are given. It is less of a “group” way of thinking but more individual. There is a high protection of the child’s choice and children are taught to respect other’s choices by waiting their turn and helping others reach their goals and learn.

Learning is seperated into critical “periods” that are when a child is more prone to learning a specific skill and the skills build upon themselves. There is a high importance put on the child’s environment and on there being order which then in turn allows the child to really be themselves without interruption.

What are we doing?

Right now we are doing a little of both. We have a broom for Kate to clean up and she knows how to clean after herself. She puts up her clothing and has little tasks around the house. We believe in helping her learn “practical life” things like cooking and while we cook we learn counting, fractions, counting, chopping, etc. This is a version of the Montessori ways of teaching.

We also have waldorf dolls and believe in communing with nature. We have open ended toys like nesting bowls and playsilks that let Kate explore her imagination and we pretend often. We tell her stories and she tells us stories. We also talk about fantasy and fairy tales and encourage the learning of mythologies. This is heavily waldorf  influenced.

We read a lot. She loves to read and she knows letter and numbers. This is a direct violation of the Waldorf belief that children of this age should be kept away from books and intellectual stimulation. Yet it goes along with the Montessori belief of giving them the opportunity to learn about all sorts of things and letting them chose when they want to learn certain things. We very much believe that she is a sponge and want to give her the opportunity to learn what she wants, whens he wants to.

Digging in the eart is a fave past time of hers, she has her own shovel and rake, and her own yard boots and gloves for this. This is part of both philosophies.

I want to start up a nature table for the kids, with living plants and small wooden figures that will change with the seasons. Kate is taught that the seasons change what is around us and within us. We tend to live in a more Waldorf manner when it comes to this. Our family beliefs tend to run more in this direction.

So as you can see, we are firmly in the middle of this… which is why I still believe that homeschooling might be a better option for us because I dont believe that we would fit 100% in either label. We could always send the kids to one and supplement with the other at home… and I do believe that my children will need to socialization that they wouldnt get if they were homeschooled.

Again, I hate labels… but this is something where we need to make a decision as to what way we want to go.

While public school is still an option I dont believe that I would be ok with it. The more I learn about the public school systems the more issues I have with them and Houston has an awful public school system. Texas in general does. We are in the bible belt and we cant even teach scientific fact because it insults the delicate sensibilities of the religious right that control our region… this is not the way that I want our children to be raised.

We still have a whole lot to do when it comes to deciding what we want but I figured I would compile what we have learned here for our information or anyone else who is thinking about looking into these methods.

The more I look into living a more ecofriendly lifestyle and the more that I try to infuse my children with the respect and love for the planet, the more that I realize that it is sort of like a religion.

We have what Thoreau called a hypaethral temple of sorts. It really isnt a true temple… and it really isnt a true church… it is just a respect, nurturing, and devotion for the world we live in. We admire what our world has become and we try to preserve it. I am very open with my children about what impact we have on our earth. Saturday morning when discussing animals and their sounds we talked about how the meat that we consume comes from animals. The dairy. The eggs.  We discussed how she should thank the animals involved and understand that they are part of our circle of life. She sees me pump for Calvin so she knows that milk can come from animals so I explained that cows, goats, sheep, etc. have similar breasts and thats how we get milk from them as well. She seems intrigued and we went further. She knows that cooking changes things because she helps me cook so much so we discussed how cooking made food and how veggies and fruits didnt need to be cooked to be eaten.  She had a few minutes where she was amazed at what things come from “moo cows” and I told her that we need to revere animals because they give so much to our life.

I know that this leans to a pantheistic view of life and that it involves worshiping animals and nature.. but I dont believe that it is exclusive of other beliefs that we may have. Maybe because of my own culture, knowing that my family stems from people who lived on ranches and had to work for their food in a way that is completely unfamiliar to most of us… I really want to make sure that my children know what food really is. Revering animals and nature comes naturally to me because I truly understand that the earth makes my life possible. While I dont worship in a church, my way of life does include being thankful for the forces that permit me to live my life the way that I do.  Sometimes that force is the sun. Other times it is the rain.  Our family adores rain. Not just in a “wow it cools down the heat here in the south”… but I allow my kids to play in it. Dance in it. Taste it. My children are not afraid of the rain and the wetness. My husband takes pictures and sits in awe studying the power of what our heavens have provided us.  We are truly thankful for it and watch its effects on our vegitation.

We try to eat locally, from farmers markets or Consumer Supported Agriculure shares… I know the man who grows the animals that end up on our plate. Our veggies arrive to us with dirt still firmly attached and I have been known to shake hands with the person whose hands tilled the soil that they grew in.  Kate knows that our family attemps to search within ourselves and our surroundings for sustenance.

This weekend I made her a toy snake, she asked for a toy snake when I gave her a choice. Instead of buying new filling or using new fabric, she helped me look through old fabric scraps that I had.. she picked out the scraps that she wanted me to use and she watched me sew her snake together by hand. We took an old pillow that was probably going to be retired soon and repurposed the innards of it for our snake. I used some smaller scraps for eyes and a tongue… and her snake was finished. It is made out of some black fabric with red flowers on it. It doesnt really look representative of any snake that you and I have seen.. but she loves it and she knows that we made it together.  We didnt have to buy a new toy at the store and we didnt have to buy anything to make it.

Kate loves yoga and understands peace and quiet time for meditation. We look within ourselves for peace and relaxation… we look at what we have on hand.

My hopes is that through living our life the way that we do our children will have a roadmap that will lead them to a true love for the earth that they live in.

Part of the definition of religion is a faith, a belief system… our religion doesnt involve prayers but it does involve music and art… we dont have scared texts but we do have the history of our earth and rituals and meditation. It doesnt have to do with the supernatural… but it is all about the natural. We give thanks and our practices are governed by our ethics and convictions. We do not have things that are divine, but many things in our world are sacred.

I find it distasteful to try and label ourselves…  but I also find it distateful when people say that to have ethics and beleifs you have to have an organized religion… I obviously dont believe that to be true.  We take what works for us from different systems and incorporate it into our lives. No organization needed. I have found that our family is happiest when it is allowed to grow and change… Michael and I have come a long way from the lives we used to lead and we will continue still to be dynamic in how we manifest our “faith”  but our beliefs remain steadfast.

Our way of life, or religion if you may… can be simply described as living in a way that shows respect for ourselves, our future, and our world…. and everything that encompasses that. However simple or complicated some may find that. It is us.