Of course it would be nice that after the 12th month of life someone pushed a button hidden in their spleen and all of a sudden they were sleeping 8 – 10 hours a night. It would also be nice if I could finish perfecting my teleportation device but alas… neither of those seems to be likely.

Actually some would argue that after the first year, it only gets worse for a while.

Some would argue that at this age a child should be fully expected to sleep through the night and that not doing so is a direct result of bad parenting. Obviously something that can be fixed with a few nights of Ferberizing.  Why are we still dealing with this no sleep problem? We must be doing something wrong…

Except no, that is not the case.

During this second year they really start hitting some major milestones. One of them one that will last you for the next year or so even. Which one?

Talking. Yep.. when those first words start flowing their minds start racing. They start making connections between words and people, between words and actions… between words and getting what they want!  They start off with one word or two… then they make short phrases… then we move onto 3-5 word sentences. Before you know it they are articulating why they do not need to go to bed yet and how it is detrimental to their inner child for you to force them to eat spinach.

This one is a biggie because it takes a long time to really get communications skills as a toddler/infant. They do not wake up one morning speaking to you and doing the New York Time crossword puzzle.  This is gradual so of course the sleepless nights that come from it may be many.

You know what other thing really keeps kids awake? Especially if you dont do it right… solids.

For those parents who think that starting a kiddo on solids at 4 months is going to help them sleep through the night. Please think again. When your child is not ready for solids all that solids do is make their tummy act up. Which doesnt let them sleep.   As most kids over a year old will be on some type of solid food, it is important to make sure that you do not overload them with new foods at all once… but instead gradually introduce new foods. Food exploration especially in the beginning is basically about that… exploration. It is about trying out textures and tastes.. not really nourishment per se.  Self feeding is a big milestone for some kids. Since we really had ours start self feeding from the beginning it wasnt a big deal at all.

Really, anything new that they do is a real big deal for their minds/bodies. Going up the steps… big milestone.  Learning to scribble while holding a crayon.. milestone. Peekaboo, pretend, stacking… milestone, milestone… and milestone.

Then of course in this year is when the tantrums start gearing up. Why? Because they cannot communicate what they want and they do not understand quite yet self control.  They are pure id if you want to put it in psychological terms. So while they learn to express themselves and while they learn self control their minds are going full steam ahead into these milestones… and sometimes they simply cannot stop.

My daughter has fitfull sleep for a while when she is working on a new project in her mind. She works it out a great deal in her sleep, she even talks a bit about it.  I can tell when she is trying to piece together pieces of something because she is fixated on it. She does not want to go to bed until it is over and she does not want to let go until it is all done.

Then when they sleep they pass out in weird places like this one above… he is asleep on a beanbag upside down with his legs in the air… oh man if he wasnt so cute all of this would be much harder.

There is no magic cure for sleeping and there is no magic cure for anything that is child related that would work on all kids… but put yourselves in their shoes. Their little shoes are busy and full of excitement, this is why they need you the most.

As parents, sleep is one of those things that we never get enough of, are always talking about, and are always looking for more of.  Even parents of kids who can be considered “good sleepers” have their moments when they wonder if they will ever get a good night sleep again. Usually these time periods can be predicted if you look at when milestones are being met and when growth spurts are happening.

Right now Calvin is in the middle of growing molars and mastering speech. This obviously means no sleep for us and nursing non stop.

Between having two kids in two years and having them both be crappy sleepers (though I thank my lucky stars that Calvin is much better than Kate was) I have become a master as blaming their crappy sleep (and my crappy sleep) on one of the three things mentioned above. Honestly they are all pretty much related, milestone achievements can lead to sleep regressions… growth spurts can lead to more nursing which = no sleep for me. All in all a clusterf*** of exhaustion for all of us.

When Kate was born I was pretty sure that her cluster feeding was just a product of her being the spawn of satan or me having to pay for some bad karma that I racked up when I was young and stupid… or something of the sorts.  Of course I later found out that those first few weeks babies go through a ton of growth spurts. No wonder we are all exausted! But think about it, if you know how bad it is to watch these spurts from the sidelines… can you imagine how exhausting it would be to actually be having those spurts? Think about it.

7-10 days, 2-3 weeks, 4-6 weeks, 3 months, 4 months, 6 months and 9 months (more or less).

This is when Kellymom says that growth spurts happen. So lets say that you are a baby who just went from being inside of a warm womb, to being ejected out into this world and all of the sounds, smells, and sights that come with it… then just when you start settling down you have this huge growth spurt. You have to eat and eat!!! Nothing can satisfy you, you are antsy, you body is doing things left and right… and you have no idea why. Then you are ok for a day or two.. maybe a week. All of a sudden, there we are again!! Eating while you are growing and growing while you are eating… and this goes on almost non stop for roughly 3-4 months. If it exhausts you to think about doubling your weight in 3-4 months, and learning to see things, and making noises, and learning to nurse, and trying to exercise those muscles that you will need to walk, crawl, and run… can you imagine actually doing it?

Really, our tiredness is nothing compared to what they go through in such a short time.

Unfortunately, during these growth spurts many mothers decide that they are not producing enough milk and start supplementing. During these times when their babies need the best nourishment the most… they give up.  Why? I think it is a lack of understanding of what growth spurts are, and what cluster feeding is really… kids are supposed to do cluseterfeed. They are supposed to feed all day and all night. This does not mean that your are defective. This does not mean that your breasts dont work. Why? Because breastmilk production is supply and demand. If your child needs more, they will nurse more… and you will make more… and it will keep going like that until your supply is regulated to be what your child needs. I do understand though, being exhausted already because of the lack of sleep and then having to deal with a baby who just wants to be attached to you like a milk tick… it can be hell for sure.

Just when you think that you have the growth spurts down and that your child will give you a break… the milestones start to hit you one by one.

One of the first ones that my kids really battled with was rolling over. My kids were born holding their head up so they started trying to roll over just about immediately, this really kept them awake at night. It didnt help that it was compounded with teething as well. My kids both had teeth at 3-4 months making the 3-5 month period pretty much unbearable.

For many kids sitting up on their own is a big milestone that really keeps them up at night.  For mine it wasnt that bad, or maybe because we had such awful beginnings this didnt seem as big a deal.

Around the four month is also when the “four month sleep regression” starts.  If you think about it, it does make sense though… kids have a great deal to process on a daily basis. They are learning and observing, so it is obvious that their sleep will be troubled until they are at a comfortable place in their minds… which wont happen for a good while.

After this it may seem like you are getting a break… if teething doesnt rear it’s ugly head… but then you reach 7-9 months and we start standing up, cruising, and walking. For most kids at this age the teeth are really bothering them and their minds are even starting to process things like words and commands. They can understand languages and they recognize their parents, maybe they can even say “mama” and “dada”. Processing language and more motor skills does a real number on infants.  This 8 month sleep regression that many parents experience is the point where many parents consider starting to sleep train or letting their child cry it out. They feel that since their child is older it should be expected to have them self soothe and that CIO is a good tactic.

Again, let’s look at this from the POV of an infant. You are learning and experiencing new things and your body is doing it’s own thing… you have no idea what is going on but one of the few things that you DO know is that you have two people who look after you and you have seen them every day of your life. Then one day, they are not there… and you need them and you cry… and you have no idea why they are not there anymore. So in the midst of all of these new and exhausting events going on through your life… you are alone. Yes, it is only for a few minutes… this is what the books and some of your friends might say. It isnt for very long… it isnt forever. But answer me this.. how does the child know this?  They have no concept of time yet and they do not understand why for 15 minutes you were not there.

This wraps up the detail of the first year of torture that as new parents we are put through.  I cant give you a solution s to how to make your child sleep, nobody really can… and if they promise that they can they lie. However, I can do this… I can tell you that you are not a failure… that your child is normal… and that this too shall pass.

I will write more about what comes after the first year next.  No, the hell does not end yet… but yes you do get a bit of a break.

I live in Texas where our abstinence ed program is obviously not working. We have one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the country (which happens to have one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the first world) and we have the highest rate of teens having more than ONE baby. Thankfully it seems like some places in the state are doing away with AO Sex Ed and moving to a more realistic approach to the topic.

The Washington Post had an article about how those virgin promise rings do not work and really it was pretty much common sense that they didnt, there did not need to be an article or study done on it. As a women who grew up religious with AO Ed. I can tell you that it doesnt work. Many of my friends and my friend’s siblings did end up pregnant before marriage and I firmly believe that many of them could have been avoided if we just knew how the hell to NOT get pregnant. Yet in our religion sex is evil unless it is done under the sanction of the church so we like to pretend that it does not happen. This is how I know that right now we have a 14 year old pregnant at my old church, with the dad being another 14 year old. Sad indeed. I will actually admit that I was having sex and did not know how babies came out of a woman. My ignorance in the topic was pretty bad and it was not until I got on the internet that I found out the truth about the birds and the bees. I was well into high school at that point.

Science agrees with me.  The APA says that Comprehensive Sex Ed is better at helping stop the spread of diseases like HIV.

The research on adolescents’ sexual behavior shows that comprehensive sexuality education programs that discuss the appropriate use of condoms do not accelerate sexual experiences. On the contrary, evidence suggests that such programs actually increase the number of adolescents who abstain from sex and also delay the onset of first sexual intercourse.

Knowledge is power.

With Kate we are taking a very open route. She knows how babies come out, she has seen the videos and was there when I was in labor with her brother. She know that daddies put babies inside of mommies and is not ashamed of asking if she has questions. I would like to keep it that way. My hopes are that my children do not grow up with the ignorance that I did and have to find out much later than they should have how to protect themselves. My hopes are that my kids can ask me anything and are comfortable with their bodies and with themselves.

We have started discussing with Kate about things that you do in private and how those are important to keep in your own room. She knows that nobody should touch right now unless it is a doctor or a parent. She is fully aware of the fact that her brother and her are different and has asked why that is so. We have explained in words that are appropriate for her age and that are honest about the differences and hope that as she grows older she will not be ashamed to ask more if we are not already giving her the education that she needs.

Religion is what many AO Ed. programs are based on and I believe that since religion should have no place in schools we should not have to have our tax dollars pay for these useless programs. Unfortunately, we are paying for them.

I am against abstinence only education because it is insulting to the children involved. It is not realistic. It is useless. It is also outright dangerous, because it allows us to put our children at greater risk for diseases and unwanted pregnancies. I firmly believe that it also makes it so that our children are more vulnerable to sexual predators.  While there is no full proof defense against abuse, education can be a great tool for our children. Our children depend on us to help them navigate through the world. I am against abstinence only education at the end of the day for no other reason than because sex is not shameful and our children should be taught how to enjoy it and how to be safe while doing so. Sex is part of human nature and part of life. Our society needs to get over the idea that sex is dirty and our children should be shielded from it, after all… how did they get here?

To help kick start the celebrations and of course educate on the subject I went on the Whole Mother Show this morning at 6:30 am with the host Pat Jones who is a local Houston midwife and founder of the BIRTH and the BIRTH Fair .

Here is the link to listen to my interview. I am not a great speaker but I do know about babywearing enough to talk about it for 25 minutes.

We started our babywearing journey when Kate was a newborn. She needed to be held and I needed to be able to get up to eat/pee/etc. She still is my child who needs me the most and we have this special bond. We lay in bed in the mornings and just stare at each other and smile as our eyes get ready to start the day.  She is and always will be our little girl.

first babywearing picture

This is our first picture of us babywearing her. You can see my tassled hair and the exhaustion in my eyes.

staring

There she was, tiny and scared. She was technically “overdue” but she was only 6 and a half pounds which makes me think that our dates were off. Thank goodness that I did not consider 40 weeks to be an eviction date for her as I really shudder to think of how teeny she would have been if I had done that… and possibly even sick.  We first wore her in a Moby Wrap because she wanted to be upright and did not like to be laying down. She also preferred to be tummy to tummy with me.  To me it also made it easier to nurse. She really did everything in the carrier at that point, she napped, explored, smiled, pooped, peed… I was thankful for good cloth diapers that protected me from her explosions.

I find this picture really interesting because she still looks like that when she falls asleep on us. Except for having more hair and being so tall that she doesnt fit through doors anymore easily when being carried laying down…

As she got older back carries really got to be our favorites. She could look around and be almost free and so could I. Yet she was still with me.

As she got older babywearing became a sort of security blanket for her. Her source of comfort. Except instead of her being comforted by a toy, or a blanket, or a pacifier she was being comforted by me.  This made it easier so that I did not have to carry around a comfort device because being worn was all she needed. After a while it didnt even have to be me doing the wearing because since others wore her too she became comfortable with Mike, my mother, even Mike’s father wearing her.

Is there anything cuter and sweeter than a babywearing grandpa? I dont think so. Nope, I dont.

I cannot say enough about how wonderful babywearing has been for us. If you need help babywearing please contact a local babywearers chapter. You can find them on yahoo groups and on MotheringDotCommunity’s finding your tribe section. Just go to your local area and ask!

A worn baby, is a happy baby.

Early Spankings Make for Aggressive Toddlers

This is not the first time that an article like this comes out. Cnn came out with something similar over 10 years ago.

Spanking Leads to Long Term Bad Behaviour

Let’s dissect the yahoo article a bit. The studies were on children who were 1, 2, and 3 years old and being spanked.   There was more enphasis done on the one year olds who were spanked an average of “2.6 per week”  while for the 2 year olds it was “nearly three”.

Those of you with kids probably know that at one year old children do NOT understand things completely. If you say “no” they do not really get it. They might repeat the word often, I know mine did. They might say it back to you. They might even say it back while laughing and doing exactly what they are not supposed to do!!! But they do NOT fully understand what it means. Them saying it and them playing with it is their form of experimenting with the word and its meanings.  This is how children learn by mimicking and seeing what the boundaries are. They really are like little scientists in that aspect.  So my question is, why are we spanking one year olds? My next question is, why are we spanking one year olds almost 3 times a week? What are they doing that deserves physical punishment?

When I read this article it was (as I mentioned above) of no surprise. If one year olds do not understand “no” and they do not understand that what they are doing is not right… do you think that they will understand why they are being hit? No, they simply cannot. All they learn is that hitting is ok, they do not grasp that they are being hit as punishment… they just know that it is taking place. Since children learn a great deal by imitating they will assume that this is acceptable behaviour and do it to their peers, parents, anyone that is near them. So they will hit, and then as a result of this hitting they will probably get hit again. This turns into a never ending cycle of violence. These children get older with the belief still in their brains that hitting for no reason is ok and will continue to do so even after their parents tell them not to, because quite honestly their parents are setting the example of why this is acceptable. As parents we teach by example, whether we like it or not.

Going back to my original set of questions… so what where these kids doing that was so bad? I wish they would have told us that in the article because I cannot for the life of me understand what a one year old does that requires physical punishment.  This goes back to something that I preach a great deal about.

Forcing unrealistic expectations on children.

I have heard reasons as to why people spank their young children and they range from not wanting to eat, not wanting to sit in a carseat for extended periods of time, and not wanting to go to sleep when the parents want them to. All of these common reasons are things that children should not be really expected to do…. but our society has said that they are.  What needs to change here? The kids or the expectations?  I would like to know why people assume that a one year old should sit still for a one hour dinner at a restaurant, or why a child who cannot yet hold their own bowels should be ok with sitting in a carseat for hours without making a noise.

There are alternatives to disciplining your children that do not involve hitting. The article actually links to an article in the AAP website that suggests alternatives.

But if you still are finding yourself in a situation where it seems like you are having to discipline your young child all of the time then maybe it is time to re-evaluate your own beliefs as to what is “wrong”. Maybe making some changes to your lifestyle that allow your child to explore and have more freedom are in order. Maybe less pressure should be put on them, and in turn you, for the activities in their daily life.

Our daughter is a child who likes to push boundaries, she is very bright and sometimes a tough cookie. My mother told me during lunch two days ago that she would be “raising her differently” because of something that she did during dinner. As a mother who was spanked as a child repeatedly and voilently I must admit that it is almost natural to me to want to spank. It is true that when you grow up thinking that it is ok, it is something that comes easy especially when angry. I also believe that is is not acceptable even in times when the more gentle ways of disciplining are not working.

It isnt easy but the best path never is… and my children are worth it.  Whether it means re-evaluating my own history and what I have thought to be true all of my life… or it means learning mechanisms to control my anger.  There are other ways and now even mainstream news and media agrees with this belief.

Spanking is bad for children. Bad for Parents. Bad for Families.

Kate says “Spanking is bad mmm kkk????”

I really do not understand why because it isnt like I shy away at bugs. I kill roaches and pick them up with no problems. We see ants and spiders all of the time and I try to not instill on her that that bugs are there to kill us.  However I have noticed that Mike and others have sort of fashioned her into believing that bugs are evil and should be killed and feared. I am sure even I have had some guilt in this. She is also really into things being clean and I know that she equates bugs with dirt.

This Monday Mike sent me this link that talks about how girls may be primed to fear spiders. I really do not like the article and want to cry bull hockey on it. I believe that children can read our reactions at a very young age. Just how my father said that my son took falling down “like a man” when he didnt cry and just how the first thing people said about when Kate fell and cut her forehead was “I hope it doesnt scar her beautiful face”… we all say and do things that have gender stereotypes built into them.

Every time an article comes out that links having an X or Y chromosome with something it bothers me.  There is a really famous one that many Wolrd of Warcraft widows have cited in marriage related communities about how men are wired for video game addictions.  This article also discusses how this relates to aggression and being territorial.

Raising a child in a world where they are not automatically primed for certain things because of what society tells us is hard… almost impossible. As much as I like to try to raise my kids in a way that gives them equal opportunity to do what they believe is best for them the world makes it hard. My son gets called a beautiful little girl because of his long hair. I am asked why kate wears boy shirts and I see post after post about how OK it is to use a baby carrier that is pink on a boy. My answer is always “if it wont make them burst into flames it is ok by me”. In reality, it doesnt affect the child if they wear a color that society does not think they should be wearing. It doesnt affect the child if their hair is long or short and it wont make them grow a penis/have it fall off.

I even have friends who say “my husband would never go for XXXX” regarding their sons. LIke that their husbands would never allow their son to wear a pink diaper, or a shirt with flowers on it. My answer has always been, “then your husband needs to get over it”. If your husband/partner is seriously affected by their son wearing a color that is not on the blue/green color spectrum then the problem is with your partner, not with the clothes.

Why do we keep doing this to children? Why keep perpetuating the ideas that gender limits us so much?

If Kate is afraid of bugs, so be it. We will still learn about them and pick them up. Part of our plans for this fall is to study bugs in our homeschooling classes by picking them up and counting their legs, wings, body segments, etc. We will not change this because she thinks that they are gross because she still needs to learn about them. Calvin will learn about him at his own pace (when he stops trying to eat them) just as Calvin will also learn how to dance with mommy and he will do a plie.

So in doing research I found a couple of books that I think will work for her.

The first is Peter in Blueberry Land this is an old Swedish story that is simple and has a good message. It really helps kids develop their imagination and explore the fantasy world and pretend. The story is enchanting and it keeps kids entertained while it does have illustrations it is easy to get the child to imagine their own illustrations for what this story would look like.

The other is The Story of the Root Children this delighful little story talks about nature and how flowers and the seasons are intertwined. It does a good job of bringing fantasy and reality regarding the seasons together.

Last night Mike read The Root Chlidren to her and she listened and asked questions about it. I think she really got into trying to find out what things were and why. It is amazing to see her grow up and become more and more her own little person.

kate

We went to visit my inlaws last weekend and she was playing on the piano that they have. She loved turning the pages and it seems like she knows that the notes represent something special.

pianos

Of course now she wants piano lessons. I might start looking into lessons for her when she is 3 or 4. At what age do you recommend starting piano?

I do not understand why it is so hard for people to be realistic when it comes to children.  We are all such different human beings, this is why psychologist never truly understand what is going on within our heads. This is why there are many meds that all help deal with the same problem… yet we somehow expect our children to be soothed the same way, at the same age, and at the same time? How is this ok?

There has been some talk that being an attached parent creates children that do not sleep well.  I cry foul here.

I think that the issue is that parents who are attached are more apt to respond to their children’s needs than other parents. This means no CIO and no harsh sleep training… this also might mean less sleep for us for a while if we are “blessed” with a child who believes (like mine) that sleep is for the weak.  This doesnt mean that our kids sleep worse it just means that we do not ignore them for our own needs.

My thought of the day: If you cannot take care of your children because they are too inconvenient maybe rethinking having more should be in order.

Public schools in Texas are now teaching things like the bible, and creationism. I dont understand why they dont teach the Flying Spaghetti Monster but that is another conversation. I dont mind children learning about the bible and creationism. My own children will get extensive education regarding the bible and religion, but I will do it on my own time. The way that I chose to do it.

So after discussing with everyone who would listen, family and friends included, we have decided to delay her entry into school for a while. We at least will not be sending her to preschool or kindergarten. My belief and wish is that this will continue until she leaves for Yale/Oxford/etc. but we will revisit this if it does not seem to be working for her. We will also revisit this with Calvin because they are both so difference it is possible that it may work for one and not the other. We shall see.

Anyways, this weekend we did some prep work. In congruence with a friend of ours that is a teacher we designed a small classroom within our home for them to study. I am a firm believer that the environment is a huge part of the psychology of learning. I also know my child and she is really into what things look like. She needs the distinction between play and learning. I am an unschooler at heart but she seems to prefer more traditional schooling things, like charts and flashcards. She adores flashcards.  This was the child that at 12 months was reciting flash cards back to us and asking for more. She went through stacks of them and she still cannot get enough of them.

We went out to Teacher’s Heaven with a list of things that we wanted and an open mind about what we needed. Mike and I worked hard during the weekend to seperate her “school” zone from the play and fun area in the rest of the house. Mike built little tiny school furniture for her and we bought some posters of colors, shapes, weather patterns, etc.  There is another good store called “The Homeschool Store” in Houston that has so much stuff for homeschooling that it is overwhelming.  We are lucky that we have many options for kids that are homeschooled. We have cooperatives, yahoo groups, and even the city parks, zoo, museums have events and days for homeschooling kids.

I understand that there are many negative stereotypes for homeschooled kids… and many questions that can are asked about homeschooling.

First of all, is it legal? Yes it is legal to homeschool in the state of Texas. You do not have to have any special certification, or testing that you have to pass. There are no requirements except for you to say that you are homeschooling.

Actually the common questions are best desribed here in the 12 days of homeschooling

To the tune of “Twelve Days of Christmas.

On the first day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, “Can you homeschool legally?”

On the second day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, “Are they socialized, can you homeschool legally?”

On the third day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, “Do you give them tests, are they socialized, can you homeschool legally?”

On the fourth day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, “What about P.E., do you give them tests, are they socialized, can you homeschool legally?”

On the fifth day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, “YOU ARE SO STRANGE! What about P.E., do you give them tests, are they socialized, can you homeschool legally?”

On the sixth day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, “How long will you homeschool, YOU ARE S0 STRANGE, what about P.E. , do you give them tests, are they socialized, can you homeschool legally?”

On the seventh day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, “Look at what they’re missing, how long will you homeschool, YOU ARE SO STRANGE!, what about P.E., do you give them tests, are they socialized, do you homeschool legally?”

On the eighth day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, “Why do you do this, look at what they’re missing, how long will you homeschool, YOU ARE SO STRANGE, what about P.E. do you give them tests, are they socialized, do you homeschool legally?”

On the ninth day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, “They’ll miss the prom, why do you do this, look at what they’re missing, how long will you homeschool, YOU ARE SO STRANGE!, what about P.E. do you give them tests, are they socialized, do you homeschool legally?”

On the tenth day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, “What about graduation, they’ll miss the prom, why do you do this, look at what they’re missing, how long will you homeschool, YOU ARE SO STRANGE!, what about P.E., do you give them tests, are they socialized, can you homeschool legally?”

On the eleventh day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, “I could never do that, what about graduation, they’ll miss the prom, why do you do this, look at what they’re missing, how long will you homeschool, YOU ARE SO STRANGE, what about P.E., do you give them tests, are they socialized, can you homeschool legally?”

On the twelfth day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, “Can they go to college, I could never do that, what about graduation, they’ll miss the prom, why do you do this, look at what they’re missing, how long will you homeschool, YOU ARE SO STRANGE, What about P.E., do you give them tests, are they socialized, can you homeschool legally?”

On the thirteenth day of homeschool I thoughtfully replied: “They Can go to college, yes you can do this, they can have graduation, we don’t like the prom, we do it cuz we like it, they are missing nothing, we’ll homeschool forever, WE ARE NOT STRANGE!, We give them P.E., and we give them tests, they are socialized, AND WE HOMESCHOOL LEGALLY!

On the fourteenth day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, “How can I get started, why didn’t you tell me, where do I buy curriculum, when is the next conference, WILL PEOPLE THINK WE’RE STRANGE? I think we can do this, if you will help us, can we join P.E. and we’ll homeschool legally.”

Many of the famous homeschoolers are people on television like the Duggars. Who wear long scary clothes and are religious fundies that pop out kids like they were pez candies.  While many homeschoolers are religious there are secular unschoolers too. We do not lock our kids at home and teach them all day and night, if anything most homeschoolers are never home! They go to events and festivals… museums and zoos! The homeschooled kids that I know have more socialization and exercise than those who have to wake up at 6:30 am to sit in a classroom all day and are forced to play dodge ball with kids who are trying to knock their glasses off (wow am I projecting much? LOL).

We are still somewhere between Montessori, Waldorf, and traditional schooling. We are what you would call “eclectic” I guess… but thankfully we dont have to only use one or the other. The beauty and art of it is that we get to use what we want and do what works for us.

After all, isnt that what schooling should be about anyways?

This got me to thinking…yeah.. they might.

My children might grow up and mainline heroin directly into their bloodstream. I have accepted that. My children might grow up and decide that they are republicans as well. So be it. However I cannot give up. I will not give up.

Mike and I are trying to plant good seeds in our children’s hearts. The seeds of compassion, love, self respect, caring for others, and caring for the world that they live in. I hope that those seeds will help my children sprout into good human beings who are a benefit to society.

No, I dont expect my kids to agree with everything that we do and no I dont expect that they will be little clones of us. I do hope that they are good human beings and that they do their best… in whatever that may be. I hope that they find their bliss.

I hope that with the little basis that we are giving our children that they will grow up to keep the tenants of a good society in mind, even if it means disagreeing with the existing beliefs that the government and that some in power might have. I hope that they will understand that they do not have to follow the herd if the herd is wrong… which many times it is.

Maybe my hopes are too much and maybe I have an idealistic view of what my children should grow up to be… but some people expect their children to be doctors or lawyers. Some people expect their children to carry on their family name in certain fields. I just expect my children to be happy, do their best, and do not harm.