As parents, sleep is one of those things that we never get enough of, are always talking about, and are always looking for more of.  Even parents of kids who can be considered “good sleepers” have their moments when they wonder if they will ever get a good night sleep again. Usually these time periods can be predicted if you look at when milestones are being met and when growth spurts are happening.

Right now Calvin is in the middle of growing molars and mastering speech. This obviously means no sleep for us and nursing non stop.

Between having two kids in two years and having them both be crappy sleepers (though I thank my lucky stars that Calvin is much better than Kate was) I have become a master as blaming their crappy sleep (and my crappy sleep) on one of the three things mentioned above. Honestly they are all pretty much related, milestone achievements can lead to sleep regressions… growth spurts can lead to more nursing which = no sleep for me. All in all a clusterf*** of exhaustion for all of us.

When Kate was born I was pretty sure that her cluster feeding was just a product of her being the spawn of satan or me having to pay for some bad karma that I racked up when I was young and stupid… or something of the sorts.  Of course I later found out that those first few weeks babies go through a ton of growth spurts. No wonder we are all exausted! But think about it, if you know how bad it is to watch these spurts from the sidelines… can you imagine how exhausting it would be to actually be having those spurts? Think about it.

7-10 days, 2-3 weeks, 4-6 weeks, 3 months, 4 months, 6 months and 9 months (more or less).

This is when Kellymom says that growth spurts happen. So lets say that you are a baby who just went from being inside of a warm womb, to being ejected out into this world and all of the sounds, smells, and sights that come with it… then just when you start settling down you have this huge growth spurt. You have to eat and eat!!! Nothing can satisfy you, you are antsy, you body is doing things left and right… and you have no idea why. Then you are ok for a day or two.. maybe a week. All of a sudden, there we are again!! Eating while you are growing and growing while you are eating… and this goes on almost non stop for roughly 3-4 months. If it exhausts you to think about doubling your weight in 3-4 months, and learning to see things, and making noises, and learning to nurse, and trying to exercise those muscles that you will need to walk, crawl, and run… can you imagine actually doing it?

Really, our tiredness is nothing compared to what they go through in such a short time.

Unfortunately, during these growth spurts many mothers decide that they are not producing enough milk and start supplementing. During these times when their babies need the best nourishment the most… they give up.  Why? I think it is a lack of understanding of what growth spurts are, and what cluster feeding is really… kids are supposed to do cluseterfeed. They are supposed to feed all day and all night. This does not mean that your are defective. This does not mean that your breasts dont work. Why? Because breastmilk production is supply and demand. If your child needs more, they will nurse more… and you will make more… and it will keep going like that until your supply is regulated to be what your child needs. I do understand though, being exhausted already because of the lack of sleep and then having to deal with a baby who just wants to be attached to you like a milk tick… it can be hell for sure.

Just when you think that you have the growth spurts down and that your child will give you a break… the milestones start to hit you one by one.

One of the first ones that my kids really battled with was rolling over. My kids were born holding their head up so they started trying to roll over just about immediately, this really kept them awake at night. It didnt help that it was compounded with teething as well. My kids both had teeth at 3-4 months making the 3-5 month period pretty much unbearable.

For many kids sitting up on their own is a big milestone that really keeps them up at night.  For mine it wasnt that bad, or maybe because we had such awful beginnings this didnt seem as big a deal.

Around the four month is also when the “four month sleep regression” starts.  If you think about it, it does make sense though… kids have a great deal to process on a daily basis. They are learning and observing, so it is obvious that their sleep will be troubled until they are at a comfortable place in their minds… which wont happen for a good while.

After this it may seem like you are getting a break… if teething doesnt rear it’s ugly head… but then you reach 7-9 months and we start standing up, cruising, and walking. For most kids at this age the teeth are really bothering them and their minds are even starting to process things like words and commands. They can understand languages and they recognize their parents, maybe they can even say “mama” and “dada”. Processing language and more motor skills does a real number on infants.  This 8 month sleep regression that many parents experience is the point where many parents consider starting to sleep train or letting their child cry it out. They feel that since their child is older it should be expected to have them self soothe and that CIO is a good tactic.

Again, let’s look at this from the POV of an infant. You are learning and experiencing new things and your body is doing it’s own thing… you have no idea what is going on but one of the few things that you DO know is that you have two people who look after you and you have seen them every day of your life. Then one day, they are not there… and you need them and you cry… and you have no idea why they are not there anymore. So in the midst of all of these new and exhausting events going on through your life… you are alone. Yes, it is only for a few minutes… this is what the books and some of your friends might say. It isnt for very long… it isnt forever. But answer me this.. how does the child know this?  They have no concept of time yet and they do not understand why for 15 minutes you were not there.

This wraps up the detail of the first year of torture that as new parents we are put through.  I cant give you a solution s to how to make your child sleep, nobody really can… and if they promise that they can they lie. However, I can do this… I can tell you that you are not a failure… that your child is normal… and that this too shall pass.

I will write more about what comes after the first year next.  No, the hell does not end yet… but yes you do get a bit of a break.

To help kick start the celebrations and of course educate on the subject I went on the Whole Mother Show this morning at 6:30 am with the host Pat Jones who is a local Houston midwife and founder of the BIRTH and the BIRTH Fair .

Here is the link to listen to my interview. I am not a great speaker but I do know about babywearing enough to talk about it for 25 minutes.

We started our babywearing journey when Kate was a newborn. She needed to be held and I needed to be able to get up to eat/pee/etc. She still is my child who needs me the most and we have this special bond. We lay in bed in the mornings and just stare at each other and smile as our eyes get ready to start the day.  She is and always will be our little girl.

first babywearing picture

This is our first picture of us babywearing her. You can see my tassled hair and the exhaustion in my eyes.

staring

There she was, tiny and scared. She was technically “overdue” but she was only 6 and a half pounds which makes me think that our dates were off. Thank goodness that I did not consider 40 weeks to be an eviction date for her as I really shudder to think of how teeny she would have been if I had done that… and possibly even sick.  We first wore her in a Moby Wrap because she wanted to be upright and did not like to be laying down. She also preferred to be tummy to tummy with me.  To me it also made it easier to nurse. She really did everything in the carrier at that point, she napped, explored, smiled, pooped, peed… I was thankful for good cloth diapers that protected me from her explosions.

I find this picture really interesting because she still looks like that when she falls asleep on us. Except for having more hair and being so tall that she doesnt fit through doors anymore easily when being carried laying down…

As she got older back carries really got to be our favorites. She could look around and be almost free and so could I. Yet she was still with me.

As she got older babywearing became a sort of security blanket for her. Her source of comfort. Except instead of her being comforted by a toy, or a blanket, or a pacifier she was being comforted by me.  This made it easier so that I did not have to carry around a comfort device because being worn was all she needed. After a while it didnt even have to be me doing the wearing because since others wore her too she became comfortable with Mike, my mother, even Mike’s father wearing her.

Is there anything cuter and sweeter than a babywearing grandpa? I dont think so. Nope, I dont.

I cannot say enough about how wonderful babywearing has been for us. If you need help babywearing please contact a local babywearers chapter. You can find them on yahoo groups and on MotheringDotCommunity’s finding your tribe section. Just go to your local area and ask!

A worn baby, is a happy baby.

Please note that you will need to pay to ship your bottles inbound to SIGG for replacement as this is a voluntary program – not a recall. SIGG is not offering refunds. This exchange offer is available through October 31, 2009.

So um, you still have to pay for shipping to replace their bottles. I do not trust them and cannot say enough words about how dissapointed I am in this company and will be recycling my Siggs. I have never actually purchased one, I got three as gifts and hate how tiny the necks are. We use Kleen Kanteens.

This is not the first time that BPA causes a stir in reusable bottle-land. Do any of you remember the Nalgene incident? They said that BPA was not a problem and that their bottles were fine, yet they no longer sell bottles with BPA in them… funny how that works huh?

Apparently Patagonia has also decided that they are no longer going to do business with Sigg.

What other options do we have to Sigg for reusable non plastic bottles?

Apart from the Kleen Kanteen mentioned above, good old Thermos makes BPA free bottles  There is also the Kid Basic Safe Sporter,  the New Wave,  the Camelback (which has a great bite valve), the ThinkSport, and the Green Feet bottle.

I have used the Thermos Foogo for the kids and really quite love it. I have a couple of friends with the Camelback and ThinkSport and they are really fond of them. I had issues with cleaning the Foogo because of the way that they are built but I think that if you are careful and use a small nipple brush they might be easier to clean.

All in all, we have many different companies to chose from that do not use shady practices to get our businesses. We do not need Sigg and hopefully they will realize that they need us and that if they come clean, are honest, and really respect their consumers they might be able to rebuild their reputation. Until then, I am voting with my pocketbook and have decided that they are not for me.

Let’s begin with the facts… shall we? Yes please… lets.

When a baby is born they have a reserve of Vitamin D in their liver. Livers do a good job of storing that.. our body rocks like that. They have enough for roughly 6 months if they never see the light of day again.

But in reality, most children have left their homes by 6 months and are happily outside at least a couple minutes a day… going in and out of the car, waiting at a bus stop, etc.  It is possible that in really cold climates people could have a deficiency especially darker skinned people.. but most of us have nothing to worry about.

La Leche League had something to say about this topic, because breastfed babies are especially prayed upon on this topic. Formula is fortified with all sorts of stuff including Vitamin D so they arent worried about as much… I do find it hilarious that anyone would worry more about breastfed babies than formula fed babies… I mean… with the stuff found in formula nowdays and with the fact that formula is truly inferior…. but I digress.

Here is some info on the release.

No known risks of ‘vitamin D’ supplementation exist at the level recommended by the AAP. However, no research has actually investigated whether ‘vitamin D’ supplementation during the first six months has any negative consequences for infant health, such as vomiting and aspiration when supplementation is not tolerated, harmful alterations of the infant gut or increased risk of infection

Let me explain… so we DO know that exposure to some sun once in a while helps our bodies create this “vitamin”… and this is not harmful to us because it happens WELL before a sunburn would happen. But we DONT know how dangerous giving our kiddos this vitamin actually is. Ah… yeah.. now I get it.

Here is an article with more details, specifically how much sunlight we need to create the vitamin D that we need.

To make enough vitamin D, a baby in a diaper needs a total of only 30 minutes of sunlight a week-less than five minutes a day. Fully clothed and without a hat, a baby would need two hours of sunlight a week, or about 20 minutes a day. Medium to darker skin tones need a little more time in the sun.

Hard isnt it?

Um. no… it isnt actually.

Today my infant and toddler spent a vast amount of time under the sun making sure that I never have to spend a dime on supplements for vitamin D ever.

This is the daughter of one of my friends and behind her you can see little Aidan in his hat and pants, making sure that his mommy Devin doesnt have to buy any supplements for him either.

Here are the kiddos outside having fun.

These two little chunks are Greg and Calvin, both in red and ready to rule the world… they are inside now after spending some time outside with their crazy older sisters. These two have to stick together.

Today was had playgroup and I feel tired but refreshed. Like minded moms who really arent afraid of rocking the boat. We talked, we co-parented our haggle of kids, and had a great time.

I hosted at our house and I made sure that we do what we can to tell the vitamin manufacturers where they can stuff it if they want to have us give our kids supplements for vitamin D.

I love seeing how happy we all look…  no deficiencies here.

Next week my husband is out of town so turning off the boob tube is going to make me spend more time outside with the kids (in this beautiful weather might I add) do more games with them and do more stuff around the house.

Is there anything special going on in your state for this? Unfortunately there isnt in Texas, but I might get together with some friends and celebrate in our own way.

Tell me, what are you going to do for this week?

We have two and Kate and Cal both like to play with them. I even like playing with them because they are soothing. I cant understand why I love these and not regular baby rattles but plastic rattles sound empty… and these sound like rain falling almost… these sound like they are something different. I wont even try explaining it but I even like the way that they smell.

I belive sometimes that my having kids was just an excuse for me to buy stuff that I wanted but blame it on my kids. There might be more truth to that than originally thought….

Both Michael and I went to public school (well I went to private for a while but lets not go into how much I hated that system right now) so we know the good and bad for that system.  We really dont agree about what to do with our kids though.

Mike believes that the public school system is fine. That any shortfalls that the system might have we can supplement at home. He believes that children need interaction with other children and that they need to be exposed to things that are different and that they might have problems with. It teaches them to cope in the real world.

I believe that the system itself doesnt permit children from learning what I want my children to learn, and that it hampers the development of other skills… in our current school system they are taught to take tests so that their school will have enough kids passing that they dont lose funding.

As you can see, we are an at empass.

My preferance would be to homeschool the children. While I know that it will be hard since we both work full time… I know it is possible and I have a tremendous amount of discipline when it comes to schooling. I think a happy medium for us might be a Montessori or Waldorf school… so I have been doing research on both…

We are already incorporating aspects of both in our lives… so here is what we have learned: Waldorf v Montessori

Both have the child at the center… not a test.. not goals… just the child. Respecting the child as a person, their own schedules, their creativity, their wants, their needs… their mental and emotinal wellbeing. This is important for me.

Both are very much into making sure that the child doesnt need stimulation from technology. No TV and video game addicts… they both have programs where the kids either plant outside or play outside.. if nothing else they feel the dirt beneath their fingernails and the sun in their faces.

Both are very much about nature and things found in nature. Wooden blocks, wool, handmade… little plastic/no plastic. The things that are used can be made at home and creativity with basic shapes and toys is encouraged.

Both stress the importance or art, music, instruments, acting, etc.

Both of them seem to be flexible when it comes to adapting to the ways that different children learn.

However they have key differences:

Waldorf is more about letting the child be a child. It involves fantasy, fairies, pretend, make believe. It relies heavily on storytelling and fantasy and the children are encouraged to be creative and there is no limit to how materials can be used.  Actually materials that are unfinished and freeform are a big part of the curriculum. Playsilks, wooden block, sea shells, dolls with minimal detail on their faces (waldorf dolls). Playstands where children can pretend, act, and delve into a world of their own is a big part of what is encouraged.

From the book “Magical Child” by Joseph Chilton Pierce

The great rule is: play on the surface
and the work takes place beneath. For the child, the time is always now; the place, here;
the action, me. He has no capacity to entertain adult notions of fantasy world and real
world. He knows only one world, and that is the very real one in which and with which
he plays. His is not playing at life. Play is life

Academics are actually kept away from children under the age of 6 or 7, their “job” so to speak is just to play.  Children are not introduced to reading or writing until this age as well. Books are not even present in the classrooms.  The idea is to allow the child to bloom on their own and not to try and push them into learning because that gets in the way of them being children and of them developing their creative mind. The structure is more traditional than Montessori is as Waldorf does have teachers that lead classrooms and that lead teaching. This teacher also helps in the social development of the child, guiding in song and dance and in developing group consciousness.  The curriculum changes with the seasons but there is a great deal of rythm in the school day.  Waldorf seeks to nurture the child’s imagination instead of the child’s intellect, especially in the younger years. Kids are kept with kids of their same ages. The schools are more like homes, they are warm and inviting.  Importance is given to “feeling” intelligence.

Montessori does not stress the make believe as much, it leans towards “practical life”.  It is grounded in reality. Children are given the opportunity to take part in learning while doing. They have little “jobs” and are given responsbilities appropriate to their age and ability.  This is supposed to help give the child sense of accomplishments and opportunities to learn how to do things that they otherwise would not have been given the opportunity to do.

Kids are kept with kids of similar age ranges but not necessarily the same age. Younger kids learn by mimicking and they teach each other sort of. The teacher is not really a leader but just helps facilitate. The teacher gives one on one instruction to children throughout the day but the children are not told what they must play with at a certain time period. There are schedules that could be suggested that some children do like to follow but it is never forced and the child is permitted to follow what they might feel like doing at this time. It is more “real life”. Drawings of things are not used, but real photographs or if possible the real example of the object being discussed. They describe playing as “work” because it is considered a real adult activity.  Creativity is encouraged but Montessori believes that there is creativity in everyday things, like cooking and cleaning and discovering plant life in your backyard.

Intellect is nourished and it is more structured. The idea is that you dont tell the child what to learn but you give them the opportunity to learn all sorts of things by making sure that they are exposed to them and allowed to move from one to the other at their leisure. It believes that children are like sponges and will absorbs what they are given. It is less of a “group” way of thinking but more individual. There is a high protection of the child’s choice and children are taught to respect other’s choices by waiting their turn and helping others reach their goals and learn.

Learning is seperated into critical “periods” that are when a child is more prone to learning a specific skill and the skills build upon themselves. There is a high importance put on the child’s environment and on there being order which then in turn allows the child to really be themselves without interruption.

What are we doing?

Right now we are doing a little of both. We have a broom for Kate to clean up and she knows how to clean after herself. She puts up her clothing and has little tasks around the house. We believe in helping her learn “practical life” things like cooking and while we cook we learn counting, fractions, counting, chopping, etc. This is a version of the Montessori ways of teaching.

We also have waldorf dolls and believe in communing with nature. We have open ended toys like nesting bowls and playsilks that let Kate explore her imagination and we pretend often. We tell her stories and she tells us stories. We also talk about fantasy and fairy tales and encourage the learning of mythologies. This is heavily waldorf  influenced.

We read a lot. She loves to read and she knows letter and numbers. This is a direct violation of the Waldorf belief that children of this age should be kept away from books and intellectual stimulation. Yet it goes along with the Montessori belief of giving them the opportunity to learn about all sorts of things and letting them chose when they want to learn certain things. We very much believe that she is a sponge and want to give her the opportunity to learn what she wants, whens he wants to.

Digging in the eart is a fave past time of hers, she has her own shovel and rake, and her own yard boots and gloves for this. This is part of both philosophies.

I want to start up a nature table for the kids, with living plants and small wooden figures that will change with the seasons. Kate is taught that the seasons change what is around us and within us. We tend to live in a more Waldorf manner when it comes to this. Our family beliefs tend to run more in this direction.

So as you can see, we are firmly in the middle of this… which is why I still believe that homeschooling might be a better option for us because I dont believe that we would fit 100% in either label. We could always send the kids to one and supplement with the other at home… and I do believe that my children will need to socialization that they wouldnt get if they were homeschooled.

Again, I hate labels… but this is something where we need to make a decision as to what way we want to go.

While public school is still an option I dont believe that I would be ok with it. The more I learn about the public school systems the more issues I have with them and Houston has an awful public school system. Texas in general does. We are in the bible belt and we cant even teach scientific fact because it insults the delicate sensibilities of the religious right that control our region… this is not the way that I want our children to be raised.

We still have a whole lot to do when it comes to deciding what we want but I figured I would compile what we have learned here for our information or anyone else who is thinking about looking into these methods.

A little bit of family history here… my brother wont eat veggies. My father wont eat veggies. My mother would try to force feed us canned green beans and spinach which would promptly make us gag and puke yet we were not allowed to get up from our chairs until it was all off of our plate. So… I grew up hating veggies. One of my youngest memories is of sitting at a table with a plate of green metal smelling goop in front of me that my mother called spinach that I saw her pour out of a can and into our plates, it looked like sludge. I have vivid memories of the juices that my mother would make us with her extractor… all carrot based. I hate carrots.  She would try to trick us by putting apples, pears, and other fruits into it… but it was just a waste of good fruit to us. The carrots killed the yummy fruit flavor, worse when celery was put in it. ICK.

To this day I still believe that this harmed the way that my family views healthy eating. I cook and if the words “healthy” are uttered it is almost like a bad word… yet if I dont tell them what is in it.. they will eat it… and ask for seconds… so I have stopped saying what is in food and we are good to go.

WHen cooking for MIke and the kids I dont have the same struggle. Mike and i eat most veggies and Kate will too, we are starting Calvin on eating everything and hope that we dont have troubles with him. Yet sometimes all kids, even the best eaters…get picky.

There are days when Kate wont eat anything but soy cheese and crackers with maybe two grapes and 4 raisins. I have realized that this is why all kid food is “fortified” and has “100% of the needed supply of vitamins and minerals”.. because you dont know if that is all they are going to eat for the day… so you want to make sure that your food packs a serious punch healthwise.

This explains the allure of books like  The Sneaky Chef,and Deceptively Delicious. They are all mother’s desperate attempts at trying to trick their kids into eating better.

This becomes a real issue for those of us with kids with allergies or who are veg*s. I remember the phone call from my own inlaws that were concerned that Kate wasnt getting enough calcium in her diet because she couldnt eat dairy. I of course dont worry since I know that soy milk, tofu, and other products that we have on hand all have calcium in them. Leafy greens also have that and her diet is balanced enough that we arent concerned about her calcium intake.

I found the Pyramind website that the government has set up has some interesting info on where veg or dietary restricted families can get their nutricion from.

As for us?

I have been known to put turnips, brocolli, and cauliflower into mashed potatoes. I put tomatoes and spinach into breads. I bread meats with oats and whole wheat flour.  Grated zucchini and carrots taste great in cakes.  My family loooves quiches. Some phyllo dough and cream cheese/tofutti is a great device for delivering greens and other veggies into picky eaters.  Raw green beans are crunchy like chips and are well loved, sprinkle some paprika and salt on them for a twist. Or better yet, make your own baked veggie chips. Soups are a staple here. We make our own broths that are boiled down veggies and bones or something similar…  the list goes on and on…

Want some fun drinks for parties?  Here is one from Veg Kitchen:

Sneaky Peppermint!

Makes about 2 to 2 1/2 cups

• 1 cup soy milk
• 1/2 cup brewed, then cooled, peppermint tea (fairly strong)
• 1 cup ice cubes
• Handful of fresh spinach leaves (don’t let anybody see you do this.. it will make the drink green but not interrupt the flavor, adds nutrition)
• Raw sugar to taste, optional

Whirl away until in a food processor or blender until smooth. Pour into glasses to serve.

Teas are a great way to get nourishment into kids too. Red Raspberry Leaf and Nettle Tea which I drank when i was pregnant is a great sources of potassium , iron, and other goodies for your blood. Make a tea of these and make it into a popsciple for kids while sweetened with honey or stevia makes a good treat that they will LOVE to eat…. and they will think that they are getting away with something when they do!

Now I am off to find a way to sneak peas and liver into cream cheese icing. Wish me luck!

Last week was the grand opening of the Children Museum with new and improved awesome ninja rooms for kids (ok maybe no ninjas but supposedly awesome anyways).

I want to see it really bad but I am not interested in sitting there with 6000 of my closest friends and their rugrats because this week is the dreaded Spring Break… so I will wait until some time later this month or early next month. But seriously I cant wait. I love museums.

Living in Houston I have access to tons of museums. We frequent The Houston Museum of Natural Science and have a family membership. We truly love the butterfly center that they have. Kate is still scared of the dinosaurs but she is intrigued as well.

Mike and I are huge art lovers so the Art Museum or Houston Museum of Fine Arts has tons of great shows, sometimes shows from the MOMA.

The Contemporary Arts Museum usually has cutting edge things to see, eventhough I kind of have issues with the selling of the museum to pop culture but I am a bit of a purist…. even Mike doesnt agree with me on that one but I am seriously bothered by icons and what seems to me like advertising at museums.

We lived in Montrose for a while, very close to Rothko Chapel and the Menil Collection which is free and full of beautiful art. It is also a great place to have a picnic and take a walk around a great part of the city. It can be a true day event.

Older kids will love the Health Museum, it is fun and gross… as well as informative. My fave kind of learning is the learning the sneaky ninja kind.

This place is gonna be crowded but it is popular… i say with a warning that while this is a fun place to go it is a true “zoo” during Spring Break. It is.. the ZOO!. We have a new little red bear that people are going crazy for. I want to see it but am not going this week. No way. No how.

Is that enough suggestions for now? I’ll post more tomorrow. Off to bed!

What have we been up to? Tons…

Tomorrow we start a Kindermusik and Sign Language class at our downtown library with the kids. I am looking forward to it.

Kate got her kitchen in finally from Camden Rose.  I am in love with it and so it she… basically it is the most beautiful piece of anything that I have seen in a long time. The wood has a great color and it is true heirloom quality.

I knit the little towel for the oven so she could have her own towel to hang on her kitchen. She thought it was really cool and was amazed that I made it just for her, she knew I made it because she watched me knit it for a couple of days.  It matches our real kitchen because our kitchen has wood trim so she really thinks that it is all part of our kitchen.  She is truly amazing. .. she is getting smarter and more chatty. She amuses Calvin and he amuses her as well.. they do a good job of keeping each other company at this point.

Calvin is no longer my little potato baby… this makes me sad as I truly feel like my baby boy is dissappearing before my eyes… just like Kate did.

this is hard on a mother… so very hard.