Of course it would be nice that after the 12th month of life someone pushed a button hidden in their spleen and all of a sudden they were sleeping 8 – 10 hours a night. It would also be nice if I could finish perfecting my teleportation device but alas… neither of those seems to be likely.

Actually some would argue that after the first year, it only gets worse for a while.

Some would argue that at this age a child should be fully expected to sleep through the night and that not doing so is a direct result of bad parenting. Obviously something that can be fixed with a few nights of Ferberizing.  Why are we still dealing with this no sleep problem? We must be doing something wrong…

Except no, that is not the case.

During this second year they really start hitting some major milestones. One of them one that will last you for the next year or so even. Which one?

Talking. Yep.. when those first words start flowing their minds start racing. They start making connections between words and people, between words and actions… between words and getting what they want!  They start off with one word or two… then they make short phrases… then we move onto 3-5 word sentences. Before you know it they are articulating why they do not need to go to bed yet and how it is detrimental to their inner child for you to force them to eat spinach.

This one is a biggie because it takes a long time to really get communications skills as a toddler/infant. They do not wake up one morning speaking to you and doing the New York Time crossword puzzle.  This is gradual so of course the sleepless nights that come from it may be many.

You know what other thing really keeps kids awake? Especially if you dont do it right… solids.

For those parents who think that starting a kiddo on solids at 4 months is going to help them sleep through the night. Please think again. When your child is not ready for solids all that solids do is make their tummy act up. Which doesnt let them sleep.   As most kids over a year old will be on some type of solid food, it is important to make sure that you do not overload them with new foods at all once… but instead gradually introduce new foods. Food exploration especially in the beginning is basically about that… exploration. It is about trying out textures and tastes.. not really nourishment per se.  Self feeding is a big milestone for some kids. Since we really had ours start self feeding from the beginning it wasnt a big deal at all.

Really, anything new that they do is a real big deal for their minds/bodies. Going up the steps… big milestone.  Learning to scribble while holding a crayon.. milestone. Peekaboo, pretend, stacking… milestone, milestone… and milestone.

Then of course in this year is when the tantrums start gearing up. Why? Because they cannot communicate what they want and they do not understand quite yet self control.  They are pure id if you want to put it in psychological terms. So while they learn to express themselves and while they learn self control their minds are going full steam ahead into these milestones… and sometimes they simply cannot stop.

My daughter has fitfull sleep for a while when she is working on a new project in her mind. She works it out a great deal in her sleep, she even talks a bit about it.  I can tell when she is trying to piece together pieces of something because she is fixated on it. She does not want to go to bed until it is over and she does not want to let go until it is all done.

Then when they sleep they pass out in weird places like this one above… he is asleep on a beanbag upside down with his legs in the air… oh man if he wasnt so cute all of this would be much harder.

There is no magic cure for sleeping and there is no magic cure for anything that is child related that would work on all kids… but put yourselves in their shoes. Their little shoes are busy and full of excitement, this is why they need you the most.

As parents, sleep is one of those things that we never get enough of, are always talking about, and are always looking for more of.  Even parents of kids who can be considered “good sleepers” have their moments when they wonder if they will ever get a good night sleep again. Usually these time periods can be predicted if you look at when milestones are being met and when growth spurts are happening.

Right now Calvin is in the middle of growing molars and mastering speech. This obviously means no sleep for us and nursing non stop.

Between having two kids in two years and having them both be crappy sleepers (though I thank my lucky stars that Calvin is much better than Kate was) I have become a master as blaming their crappy sleep (and my crappy sleep) on one of the three things mentioned above. Honestly they are all pretty much related, milestone achievements can lead to sleep regressions… growth spurts can lead to more nursing which = no sleep for me. All in all a clusterf*** of exhaustion for all of us.

When Kate was born I was pretty sure that her cluster feeding was just a product of her being the spawn of satan or me having to pay for some bad karma that I racked up when I was young and stupid… or something of the sorts.  Of course I later found out that those first few weeks babies go through a ton of growth spurts. No wonder we are all exausted! But think about it, if you know how bad it is to watch these spurts from the sidelines… can you imagine how exhausting it would be to actually be having those spurts? Think about it.

7-10 days, 2-3 weeks, 4-6 weeks, 3 months, 4 months, 6 months and 9 months (more or less).

This is when Kellymom says that growth spurts happen. So lets say that you are a baby who just went from being inside of a warm womb, to being ejected out into this world and all of the sounds, smells, and sights that come with it… then just when you start settling down you have this huge growth spurt. You have to eat and eat!!! Nothing can satisfy you, you are antsy, you body is doing things left and right… and you have no idea why. Then you are ok for a day or two.. maybe a week. All of a sudden, there we are again!! Eating while you are growing and growing while you are eating… and this goes on almost non stop for roughly 3-4 months. If it exhausts you to think about doubling your weight in 3-4 months, and learning to see things, and making noises, and learning to nurse, and trying to exercise those muscles that you will need to walk, crawl, and run… can you imagine actually doing it?

Really, our tiredness is nothing compared to what they go through in such a short time.

Unfortunately, during these growth spurts many mothers decide that they are not producing enough milk and start supplementing. During these times when their babies need the best nourishment the most… they give up.  Why? I think it is a lack of understanding of what growth spurts are, and what cluster feeding is really… kids are supposed to do cluseterfeed. They are supposed to feed all day and all night. This does not mean that your are defective. This does not mean that your breasts dont work. Why? Because breastmilk production is supply and demand. If your child needs more, they will nurse more… and you will make more… and it will keep going like that until your supply is regulated to be what your child needs. I do understand though, being exhausted already because of the lack of sleep and then having to deal with a baby who just wants to be attached to you like a milk tick… it can be hell for sure.

Just when you think that you have the growth spurts down and that your child will give you a break… the milestones start to hit you one by one.

One of the first ones that my kids really battled with was rolling over. My kids were born holding their head up so they started trying to roll over just about immediately, this really kept them awake at night. It didnt help that it was compounded with teething as well. My kids both had teeth at 3-4 months making the 3-5 month period pretty much unbearable.

For many kids sitting up on their own is a big milestone that really keeps them up at night.  For mine it wasnt that bad, or maybe because we had such awful beginnings this didnt seem as big a deal.

Around the four month is also when the “four month sleep regression” starts.  If you think about it, it does make sense though… kids have a great deal to process on a daily basis. They are learning and observing, so it is obvious that their sleep will be troubled until they are at a comfortable place in their minds… which wont happen for a good while.

After this it may seem like you are getting a break… if teething doesnt rear it’s ugly head… but then you reach 7-9 months and we start standing up, cruising, and walking. For most kids at this age the teeth are really bothering them and their minds are even starting to process things like words and commands. They can understand languages and they recognize their parents, maybe they can even say “mama” and “dada”. Processing language and more motor skills does a real number on infants.  This 8 month sleep regression that many parents experience is the point where many parents consider starting to sleep train or letting their child cry it out. They feel that since their child is older it should be expected to have them self soothe and that CIO is a good tactic.

Again, let’s look at this from the POV of an infant. You are learning and experiencing new things and your body is doing it’s own thing… you have no idea what is going on but one of the few things that you DO know is that you have two people who look after you and you have seen them every day of your life. Then one day, they are not there… and you need them and you cry… and you have no idea why they are not there anymore. So in the midst of all of these new and exhausting events going on through your life… you are alone. Yes, it is only for a few minutes… this is what the books and some of your friends might say. It isnt for very long… it isnt forever. But answer me this.. how does the child know this?  They have no concept of time yet and they do not understand why for 15 minutes you were not there.

This wraps up the detail of the first year of torture that as new parents we are put through.  I cant give you a solution s to how to make your child sleep, nobody really can… and if they promise that they can they lie. However, I can do this… I can tell you that you are not a failure… that your child is normal… and that this too shall pass.

I will write more about what comes after the first year next.  No, the hell does not end yet… but yes you do get a bit of a break.

As a growing girl I was told by my peers that having hair on my body was considered gross. Boys told me about it and girls mocked me for not wanting to shave. Of course being an impressionable young thing I did give in and started shaving my legs, armpits, and other regions which I had been told needed it.

The older I got the more I realized that I really did not have a reason to shave.  It seems like people have been removing body hair for many reasons through out the years. The Egyptians apparently did it for “cleanliness” and to avoid mites, lice and to keep cool. It seems that they are credited for having invented body sugaring which is still used today by many who are seeking depilation treatments. Some people remove their hair for religious reasons at different points in their life, and I know that in biblical times hair removal was used for many reasons.

In Deutoronomy 21: 12 hair removal is used as a mean to control and humble women. In 1st Corinthians 11: 5 and 6 it speaks of women who have not been humble enough to cover their heads when necessary and how they must be shorn. This gives a really interesting view as to how shaving is used today in my eyes. Is shaving being used as a way to keep women humble? I could go on… but I wont.

Removal of hair is not really convenient, can be downright painful, and is quite expensive.  Marketers spend millions of dollars advertising razors that dont leave bumps, waxes that promise longer lasting results, and showing us pictures of long cellulite free legs in short shorts without a single stray hair present.  These pictures promise us that we too can reach that level of happiness with our lives and with the way that our bodies look in teeny weeny bikinis. The perfectly manicured toes and tanned legs tell us that we too can look this good…. if we just shave our legs with their products. Hair removal is quite serious business folks.

How did this all start?

It seems like history likes to point at this ad as the start of all of the ruckus.  One day this ad showed up in Harper’s Bazaar in May of 1915… and the sales of razors grew. They havent looked back since. The advertisers haven’t looked back either…

With ads that say things like “for faultless grooming” and that make underarm hair seem like it is a disease they we hope nobody gets, it is no wonder that shaving has become the important part of grooming in women’s lives that it currently is. It is said that women spend 60 days of their life removing unwanted body hair and that is a great deal of time.  Too much time if you ask me… especially since we have no real reason to have to remove our body hair other than marketers and society telling us that we should.

If someone wants to remove their body hair by all means, do so… but my job as a mother is to make sure that my children know that it is their choice. It is not mandated by some higher power that body hair be removed and it is not something that they should do to fit into society… it is just an expectation, and a flawed one at that. While I understand that it is not some new idea that hairless = beautiful it doesnt make it ok to keep the flawed expectation up.

Even questions like these on a popular website for Q&A when it is asked if women should shave their armpits the answer is

I think it is good hygiene for women to shave their armpits

But is there really any proof that it is not good hygene to leave hair alone?

As a parent, how will this discussion be brought up in your household? Iwill fully disclose my history of shaving and how I phased certain parts of it own. I still chose to shave on occassion but this summer I basically spent it razor free and quite enjoyed it. I go back and forth depending on how I feel but hope to one day really just not ever go back.  I sometimes do fall prey to peer pressure and feeling like I have to shave to be feminine and womanly.  We are constantly bombarded with the informationt hat it is necessary. I saw an ad recently that showed how shaving their legs was a rite of passage that women needed to go through when they hit puberty and how it was a bonding thing between mother and daughter. I can think of a lot of things that I can use to bond with my daughter and I do not believe that in our family starting my daughter off in a ritual that has no business existing in the first place will be one of them.

I have to admit that I just sat and stared. I wouldnt have stared if she has just popped out the boob because to me this is normal… but covering one’s self with a blanket? That is NOT normal in my book. I asked a friend of mine who says that she covers up occassionally why she did it and her answer was that she thought that church was appropriate so that she was not a distraction to those at church.

I guess my question now is, how is a mother feeding her child a distraction?

There is a huge constant debate as to whether breastfeeding in public is lewd or not… on whether it should be legal or even protected. The most common things that are said to breastfeeding mothers are “Can you please cover up” and “Can you please go to the bathroom”.

Hooter hiders, or other covers are really just sending out the message that breastfeeding should be hidden and is somehow indecent. Who can blame people for thinking that?  Even people like Barbara Walters are more than happy to say how breastfeeding makes them uncomfortable and how wierd it is.

Who can forget last year when Barbara Walters relayed a derogatory anecdote about witnessing a woman breast-feeding on an airplane? “It made me very nervous,” Walters said on the May 17, 2005 airing of the ABC talk show, “The View.” “She didn’t cover the baby with a blanket. It made us uncomfortable.” Co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who was nursing her daughter at the time, went even further adding she was “uncomfortable breast-feeding in general.”

Why are we asked to cover up or hide? Mostly it is because of the children. People do not want their children exposed to our bear luscious breasts because their eyes might explode into their brains or something. So I say that we start our own campaign to hide bottle feeding.

Bottles are a part of our culture so much that most dolls come with them.  At baby showers some of the most popular decorations are bottles and pacifiers. One of the most popular gifts for new mothers apart from diapers… are bottles. We are inundated with propaganda about bottlefeeding on a regular basis. When do you see a baby breastfeeding on tv? in a movie? in a magazine ad? It is as often as you see bottlefeeding? How about at all? I am personally offended by being surrounded by bottles. I do not want my children to grow up thinking that you are supposed to feed a baby with a bottle unless it is completely necessary. Who can I go to when I see a bottle feeding mother to complain? Of course all of this is said with tongue placed firmly in cheek, but my main point stands. Breastfeeding is just that… feeding… with a breast.  If bottle feeding does not get harassment, breastfeeding should not either.

This is why people use cover ups for nursing. Eventhough some people might say that they are for breastfeeding and that they are for families the sight of a woman nursing her child is too much for many and as a result mothers react by hiding. I think we need to make breastfeeding the norm. There was an excellent article on Mothering called “Breastfeeding in the Lang of Ghengis Kahn” that really struck a chord with me when I read it.  In this culture they would never think of having a law to protect breastfeeding because it would not even be necessary. While I am glad that we have laws to protect us… I am sad that they were needed.

This week is the date of the Breastfeeding Challenge. We will be having it at the BIRTH Fair this Saturday and I am helping with organizing it. I think that things like this are necessary until we get to a point where breastfeeding in our culture is the norm. Where mothers are not harrassed and where motheres are not being told or being made to feel like they should hide or cover up when nursing their child.

To help kick start the celebrations and of course educate on the subject I went on the Whole Mother Show this morning at 6:30 am with the host Pat Jones who is a local Houston midwife and founder of the BIRTH and the BIRTH Fair .

Here is the link to listen to my interview. I am not a great speaker but I do know about babywearing enough to talk about it for 25 minutes.

We started our babywearing journey when Kate was a newborn. She needed to be held and I needed to be able to get up to eat/pee/etc. She still is my child who needs me the most and we have this special bond. We lay in bed in the mornings and just stare at each other and smile as our eyes get ready to start the day.  She is and always will be our little girl.

first babywearing picture

This is our first picture of us babywearing her. You can see my tassled hair and the exhaustion in my eyes.

staring

There she was, tiny and scared. She was technically “overdue” but she was only 6 and a half pounds which makes me think that our dates were off. Thank goodness that I did not consider 40 weeks to be an eviction date for her as I really shudder to think of how teeny she would have been if I had done that… and possibly even sick.  We first wore her in a Moby Wrap because she wanted to be upright and did not like to be laying down. She also preferred to be tummy to tummy with me.  To me it also made it easier to nurse. She really did everything in the carrier at that point, she napped, explored, smiled, pooped, peed… I was thankful for good cloth diapers that protected me from her explosions.

I find this picture really interesting because she still looks like that when she falls asleep on us. Except for having more hair and being so tall that she doesnt fit through doors anymore easily when being carried laying down…

As she got older back carries really got to be our favorites. She could look around and be almost free and so could I. Yet she was still with me.

As she got older babywearing became a sort of security blanket for her. Her source of comfort. Except instead of her being comforted by a toy, or a blanket, or a pacifier she was being comforted by me.  This made it easier so that I did not have to carry around a comfort device because being worn was all she needed. After a while it didnt even have to be me doing the wearing because since others wore her too she became comfortable with Mike, my mother, even Mike’s father wearing her.

Is there anything cuter and sweeter than a babywearing grandpa? I dont think so. Nope, I dont.

I cannot say enough about how wonderful babywearing has been for us. If you need help babywearing please contact a local babywearers chapter. You can find them on yahoo groups and on MotheringDotCommunity’s finding your tribe section. Just go to your local area and ask!

A worn baby, is a happy baby.

This I believe.

I believe that reproductive freedom includes a woman’s right to give birth in the way that she needs. I believe that once the choice is made to reproduce the woman should have a birth and pregnancy that is respectful to her and her wishes. I deserve to be treated like a human being not a number when I am giving birth to my children, and my desires should be followed. I believe in the power of my bodyand that I should trust it. I truly and honestly believe, no…. I KNOW that education is absolutely necessary to empower a woman to have the birth that she needs and to fight for her right to have her child in the fashion that so suits her.

I believe that giving birth is not dangerous and that it is not something that women must be saved from.  This rite of passage has been taken away from us over the year and we need to take it back. I am thankful for skilled doctors that have made the few csections that are necessary available for women who need them but am sad that our csection rate is so unbelievably high. I am thankful for the experienced midwives who are here for women who chose their care.   We have lost the art of helping women in labor when labor became a medical event. I believe in the strength that doulas and other support people give to a woman when she is at her most vulnerable and I believe that more of them are needed. I should have the right to dictate how, when, and where I am going to give birth. I and only I, not my husband, not my family, not my friends, and certainly not the government.

I believe that nothing compares to catching your own child in your hands as they are born and having your face be the first one that they see. I believe that a healthy mother matters as much as a healthy child and that once we chose to give life our needs and rights do not cease to be important.  I believe in the thousands of women who have done this before me and who will do it after me, our hearts are one at this moment.  I believe that giving birth in my home is safe and that I have instinct on my side.  I believe in a gentle birth for both mother and child. I believe in my ability to chose what is best for me and my family. Most of all, I believe that my family deserves a peaceful beginning.

Early Spankings Make for Aggressive Toddlers

This is not the first time that an article like this comes out. Cnn came out with something similar over 10 years ago.

Spanking Leads to Long Term Bad Behaviour

Let’s dissect the yahoo article a bit. The studies were on children who were 1, 2, and 3 years old and being spanked.   There was more enphasis done on the one year olds who were spanked an average of “2.6 per week”  while for the 2 year olds it was “nearly three”.

Those of you with kids probably know that at one year old children do NOT understand things completely. If you say “no” they do not really get it. They might repeat the word often, I know mine did. They might say it back to you. They might even say it back while laughing and doing exactly what they are not supposed to do!!! But they do NOT fully understand what it means. Them saying it and them playing with it is their form of experimenting with the word and its meanings.  This is how children learn by mimicking and seeing what the boundaries are. They really are like little scientists in that aspect.  So my question is, why are we spanking one year olds? My next question is, why are we spanking one year olds almost 3 times a week? What are they doing that deserves physical punishment?

When I read this article it was (as I mentioned above) of no surprise. If one year olds do not understand “no” and they do not understand that what they are doing is not right… do you think that they will understand why they are being hit? No, they simply cannot. All they learn is that hitting is ok, they do not grasp that they are being hit as punishment… they just know that it is taking place. Since children learn a great deal by imitating they will assume that this is acceptable behaviour and do it to their peers, parents, anyone that is near them. So they will hit, and then as a result of this hitting they will probably get hit again. This turns into a never ending cycle of violence. These children get older with the belief still in their brains that hitting for no reason is ok and will continue to do so even after their parents tell them not to, because quite honestly their parents are setting the example of why this is acceptable. As parents we teach by example, whether we like it or not.

Going back to my original set of questions… so what where these kids doing that was so bad? I wish they would have told us that in the article because I cannot for the life of me understand what a one year old does that requires physical punishment.  This goes back to something that I preach a great deal about.

Forcing unrealistic expectations on children.

I have heard reasons as to why people spank their young children and they range from not wanting to eat, not wanting to sit in a carseat for extended periods of time, and not wanting to go to sleep when the parents want them to. All of these common reasons are things that children should not be really expected to do…. but our society has said that they are.  What needs to change here? The kids or the expectations?  I would like to know why people assume that a one year old should sit still for a one hour dinner at a restaurant, or why a child who cannot yet hold their own bowels should be ok with sitting in a carseat for hours without making a noise.

There are alternatives to disciplining your children that do not involve hitting. The article actually links to an article in the AAP website that suggests alternatives.

But if you still are finding yourself in a situation where it seems like you are having to discipline your young child all of the time then maybe it is time to re-evaluate your own beliefs as to what is “wrong”. Maybe making some changes to your lifestyle that allow your child to explore and have more freedom are in order. Maybe less pressure should be put on them, and in turn you, for the activities in their daily life.

Our daughter is a child who likes to push boundaries, she is very bright and sometimes a tough cookie. My mother told me during lunch two days ago that she would be “raising her differently” because of something that she did during dinner. As a mother who was spanked as a child repeatedly and voilently I must admit that it is almost natural to me to want to spank. It is true that when you grow up thinking that it is ok, it is something that comes easy especially when angry. I also believe that is is not acceptable even in times when the more gentle ways of disciplining are not working.

It isnt easy but the best path never is… and my children are worth it.  Whether it means re-evaluating my own history and what I have thought to be true all of my life… or it means learning mechanisms to control my anger.  There are other ways and now even mainstream news and media agrees with this belief.

Spanking is bad for children. Bad for Parents. Bad for Families.

Kate says “Spanking is bad mmm kkk????”

I guess many of you are asking yourselves why it is important to have a day where women show their tits to strangers in group, well… there are many reasons for it but here are a few:

Here are the laws for breastfeeding by location. There are some places where mothers are still not protected from people trying to make them stop breastfeeding in public and even in places (like Texas) where there are laws that protect us people STILL feel the need to try and get us to either cover ourselves, go into bathroom, or stop all together. It has happened to many of us, me included. It has happened to be at the airport where a very rude waitress asked to go into a bathroom and insisted even after I told her what she was doing was illegal. It happened to be at Discovery Green park (and to other mothers) so much that we were on the news for it. They have since completely been supportive of it and had better training for their staff but it did happen to many of us. The point for making a stink out of breastfeeding in public in cases like the Discovery Green one was not to get someone in trouble. It was not to fire someone. It was solely to get them to respect us and the law. Neither I or the other mom who was on the news with me got any compensation for it and we did not ask for the heads of those who wronged us on a silver platter. We have both been there since, it is actually a favorite place of my family’s to go. I love the park and what it does for the green Houston community.  I was there for World Yoga Day with my family and kids two weeks ago and they always have events that we love to go to.

boobs

Why is our society such that breastfeeding in public is a taboo? Why do we get sneers and comments? This must end and this is the goal of the Breastfeeding Challenge.  Breastfeeding is simply feeding a child,  why don’t bottle feeding mothers get told to cover themselves or go hide in a restroom?

Breastfeeding must be seen as normal again and to get it that way there needs to be exposure to more breastfeeding mothers. We need to get out of hiding from behind out hooter hiders and from outside of the bathrooms that we have been pushed into. We need to be proud of what we are doing and not be afraid of doing what we need to do for our children.

So take them out, twirl them around, be proud! Your boobs are powerful!

I really do not understand why because it isnt like I shy away at bugs. I kill roaches and pick them up with no problems. We see ants and spiders all of the time and I try to not instill on her that that bugs are there to kill us.  However I have noticed that Mike and others have sort of fashioned her into believing that bugs are evil and should be killed and feared. I am sure even I have had some guilt in this. She is also really into things being clean and I know that she equates bugs with dirt.

This Monday Mike sent me this link that talks about how girls may be primed to fear spiders. I really do not like the article and want to cry bull hockey on it. I believe that children can read our reactions at a very young age. Just how my father said that my son took falling down “like a man” when he didnt cry and just how the first thing people said about when Kate fell and cut her forehead was “I hope it doesnt scar her beautiful face”… we all say and do things that have gender stereotypes built into them.

Every time an article comes out that links having an X or Y chromosome with something it bothers me.  There is a really famous one that many Wolrd of Warcraft widows have cited in marriage related communities about how men are wired for video game addictions.  This article also discusses how this relates to aggression and being territorial.

Raising a child in a world where they are not automatically primed for certain things because of what society tells us is hard… almost impossible. As much as I like to try to raise my kids in a way that gives them equal opportunity to do what they believe is best for them the world makes it hard. My son gets called a beautiful little girl because of his long hair. I am asked why kate wears boy shirts and I see post after post about how OK it is to use a baby carrier that is pink on a boy. My answer is always “if it wont make them burst into flames it is ok by me”. In reality, it doesnt affect the child if they wear a color that society does not think they should be wearing. It doesnt affect the child if their hair is long or short and it wont make them grow a penis/have it fall off.

I even have friends who say “my husband would never go for XXXX” regarding their sons. LIke that their husbands would never allow their son to wear a pink diaper, or a shirt with flowers on it. My answer has always been, “then your husband needs to get over it”. If your husband/partner is seriously affected by their son wearing a color that is not on the blue/green color spectrum then the problem is with your partner, not with the clothes.

Why do we keep doing this to children? Why keep perpetuating the ideas that gender limits us so much?

If Kate is afraid of bugs, so be it. We will still learn about them and pick them up. Part of our plans for this fall is to study bugs in our homeschooling classes by picking them up and counting their legs, wings, body segments, etc. We will not change this because she thinks that they are gross because she still needs to learn about them. Calvin will learn about him at his own pace (when he stops trying to eat them) just as Calvin will also learn how to dance with mommy and he will do a plie.

I do not understand why it is so hard for people to be realistic when it comes to children.  We are all such different human beings, this is why psychologist never truly understand what is going on within our heads. This is why there are many meds that all help deal with the same problem… yet we somehow expect our children to be soothed the same way, at the same age, and at the same time? How is this ok?

There has been some talk that being an attached parent creates children that do not sleep well.  I cry foul here.

I think that the issue is that parents who are attached are more apt to respond to their children’s needs than other parents. This means no CIO and no harsh sleep training… this also might mean less sleep for us for a while if we are “blessed” with a child who believes (like mine) that sleep is for the weak.  This doesnt mean that our kids sleep worse it just means that we do not ignore them for our own needs.

My thought of the day: If you cannot take care of your children because they are too inconvenient maybe rethinking having more should be in order.