As parents, sleep is one of those things that we never get enough of, are always talking about, and are always looking for more of.  Even parents of kids who can be considered “good sleepers” have their moments when they wonder if they will ever get a good night sleep again. Usually these time periods can be predicted if you look at when milestones are being met and when growth spurts are happening.

Right now Calvin is in the middle of growing molars and mastering speech. This obviously means no sleep for us and nursing non stop.

Between having two kids in two years and having them both be crappy sleepers (though I thank my lucky stars that Calvin is much better than Kate was) I have become a master as blaming their crappy sleep (and my crappy sleep) on one of the three things mentioned above. Honestly they are all pretty much related, milestone achievements can lead to sleep regressions… growth spurts can lead to more nursing which = no sleep for me. All in all a clusterf*** of exhaustion for all of us.

When Kate was born I was pretty sure that her cluster feeding was just a product of her being the spawn of satan or me having to pay for some bad karma that I racked up when I was young and stupid… or something of the sorts.  Of course I later found out that those first few weeks babies go through a ton of growth spurts. No wonder we are all exausted! But think about it, if you know how bad it is to watch these spurts from the sidelines… can you imagine how exhausting it would be to actually be having those spurts? Think about it.

7-10 days, 2-3 weeks, 4-6 weeks, 3 months, 4 months, 6 months and 9 months (more or less).

This is when Kellymom says that growth spurts happen. So lets say that you are a baby who just went from being inside of a warm womb, to being ejected out into this world and all of the sounds, smells, and sights that come with it… then just when you start settling down you have this huge growth spurt. You have to eat and eat!!! Nothing can satisfy you, you are antsy, you body is doing things left and right… and you have no idea why. Then you are ok for a day or two.. maybe a week. All of a sudden, there we are again!! Eating while you are growing and growing while you are eating… and this goes on almost non stop for roughly 3-4 months. If it exhausts you to think about doubling your weight in 3-4 months, and learning to see things, and making noises, and learning to nurse, and trying to exercise those muscles that you will need to walk, crawl, and run… can you imagine actually doing it?

Really, our tiredness is nothing compared to what they go through in such a short time.

Unfortunately, during these growth spurts many mothers decide that they are not producing enough milk and start supplementing. During these times when their babies need the best nourishment the most… they give up.  Why? I think it is a lack of understanding of what growth spurts are, and what cluster feeding is really… kids are supposed to do cluseterfeed. They are supposed to feed all day and all night. This does not mean that your are defective. This does not mean that your breasts dont work. Why? Because breastmilk production is supply and demand. If your child needs more, they will nurse more… and you will make more… and it will keep going like that until your supply is regulated to be what your child needs. I do understand though, being exhausted already because of the lack of sleep and then having to deal with a baby who just wants to be attached to you like a milk tick… it can be hell for sure.

Just when you think that you have the growth spurts down and that your child will give you a break… the milestones start to hit you one by one.

One of the first ones that my kids really battled with was rolling over. My kids were born holding their head up so they started trying to roll over just about immediately, this really kept them awake at night. It didnt help that it was compounded with teething as well. My kids both had teeth at 3-4 months making the 3-5 month period pretty much unbearable.

For many kids sitting up on their own is a big milestone that really keeps them up at night.  For mine it wasnt that bad, or maybe because we had such awful beginnings this didnt seem as big a deal.

Around the four month is also when the “four month sleep regression” starts.  If you think about it, it does make sense though… kids have a great deal to process on a daily basis. They are learning and observing, so it is obvious that their sleep will be troubled until they are at a comfortable place in their minds… which wont happen for a good while.

After this it may seem like you are getting a break… if teething doesnt rear it’s ugly head… but then you reach 7-9 months and we start standing up, cruising, and walking. For most kids at this age the teeth are really bothering them and their minds are even starting to process things like words and commands. They can understand languages and they recognize their parents, maybe they can even say “mama” and “dada”. Processing language and more motor skills does a real number on infants.  This 8 month sleep regression that many parents experience is the point where many parents consider starting to sleep train or letting their child cry it out. They feel that since their child is older it should be expected to have them self soothe and that CIO is a good tactic.

Again, let’s look at this from the POV of an infant. You are learning and experiencing new things and your body is doing it’s own thing… you have no idea what is going on but one of the few things that you DO know is that you have two people who look after you and you have seen them every day of your life. Then one day, they are not there… and you need them and you cry… and you have no idea why they are not there anymore. So in the midst of all of these new and exhausting events going on through your life… you are alone. Yes, it is only for a few minutes… this is what the books and some of your friends might say. It isnt for very long… it isnt forever. But answer me this.. how does the child know this?  They have no concept of time yet and they do not understand why for 15 minutes you were not there.

This wraps up the detail of the first year of torture that as new parents we are put through.  I cant give you a solution s to how to make your child sleep, nobody really can… and if they promise that they can they lie. However, I can do this… I can tell you that you are not a failure… that your child is normal… and that this too shall pass.

I will write more about what comes after the first year next.  No, the hell does not end yet… but yes you do get a bit of a break.

Last week was the grand opening of the Children Museum with new and improved awesome ninja rooms for kids (ok maybe no ninjas but supposedly awesome anyways).

I want to see it really bad but I am not interested in sitting there with 6000 of my closest friends and their rugrats because this week is the dreaded Spring Break… so I will wait until some time later this month or early next month. But seriously I cant wait. I love museums.

Living in Houston I have access to tons of museums. We frequent The Houston Museum of Natural Science and have a family membership. We truly love the butterfly center that they have. Kate is still scared of the dinosaurs but she is intrigued as well.

Mike and I are huge art lovers so the Art Museum or Houston Museum of Fine Arts has tons of great shows, sometimes shows from the MOMA.

The Contemporary Arts Museum usually has cutting edge things to see, eventhough I kind of have issues with the selling of the museum to pop culture but I am a bit of a purist…. even Mike doesnt agree with me on that one but I am seriously bothered by icons and what seems to me like advertising at museums.

We lived in Montrose for a while, very close to Rothko Chapel and the Menil Collection which is free and full of beautiful art. It is also a great place to have a picnic and take a walk around a great part of the city. It can be a true day event.

Older kids will love the Health Museum, it is fun and gross… as well as informative. My fave kind of learning is the learning the sneaky ninja kind.

This place is gonna be crowded but it is popular… i say with a warning that while this is a fun place to go it is a true “zoo” during Spring Break. It is.. the ZOO!. We have a new little red bear that people are going crazy for. I want to see it but am not going this week. No way. No how.

Is that enough suggestions for now? I’ll post more tomorrow. Off to bed!

It is appropriate that this post is about pediatricians then I guess because that is what happens after you have a baby… you have to visit a pediatrician.  While you dont have to, most people chose to because they want to weigh the baby, make sure that it is ok, possibly get tests done and after a while vaccines.

This is part of my “Where do I go for…” in the Houston area series.

We dont really see our pediatricians unless we are sick. We did well baby visits for a while with Kate and every time we went to got the third degree about not getting the vaccines that we “needed” to get.  Our ped is actually pretty good about not pressuring and about not immediately giving kids antibiotics for no reason and we really like him… but he is still a doctor.

We use the Pediatric Medical Group.  Our doctor is James Allison.  My BFF Devin uses Dr. Injac. That whole group is very good about respecting parents in regards to their decisions on their children’s health and well being.  The group was started by a doctor who understood parents and was very much into informed consent.

Some people dont believe that a pediatrician is really necessary but that a general pracitioner are just fine. I tend to agree.  One of the doctors that are holistic and respectful of personal decisions is Nellie Grose.

Another pediatrician who is open to alternative ideas and who respects parents is Krenie Stowe.  She often gives talks on infant and toddler care and on how to deal with common illnesses without medical intervention.

These are the most common pediatricians recommended in the greater houston area, there are others and I will add more in later posts the more that I find out more about them. Like I said before, I cannot and will not recommend someone that I do not have some kind of persoanl experience with.

And as an update to my birthing choices post about hospitals, midwives, and OBs. I have to add.

Stay far far away from West Houston Medical Center. A friend of mine is there right now and it is a fight and a half. They know nothing about breastfeeding and if she wasnt an educated mother she would be well on her way to having no supply for the baby and the baby would never be with her.

Some as serious as, the best person to give birth with and to use as a doctor or midwife… to as simple as the best place to get a haircut.

So I am starting a series on my blog called “Where should I go for…?”

I am going to write my initial list for each topic and update it as needed. My goal for next year is to have a list of some of the best places for children and families, as well as the most natural friendly establishments and green supporters. My first topic came naturally while thinking about the topic that I get asked about the most. What do I get more emails, phone calls, and messages about? Birth.

Birthing options are some of the most important things that one can make decisions on. We research for ages before getting a house note, a new computer, hell even a new phone… but when it comes to our healthcare providers we seem to just assume that they will all know what is best and do what is best.  While there are some great providers out there it is important to make sure that you really get one that meshes well with you.

While it is no secret that I drank the koolaid when it comes to homebirth, I understand that because of monetary, health, or other reasons women might not be able to have a homebirth or even want one.  Because of this I am including in my list options for all types of births. Of course this list is not the end all be all of birth in Houston and I really dont wish for it to be seen as that. This is only a collection of names gathered by a woman who spends way too much time researching and talking to people. I am onlt going to write about those who I know personally, know someone that knows them personally, or feel comfortable recommending. If you see anything here that you believe is off please let me know. I am always happy to learn more about the subject.

Let’s start off with what I know the best…. midwives.

Not only did I drink the kool aide of homebirth love, my husband did too and I know that part of why he was so happy with our last birth was because we had a good support team there with us.  Because of them we were able to stay at home in peace and immediately all bond as a family… so it makes sense that I am very inclined to be partial to the midwifery model of care and homebirth.

There are different types of midwives. There are DEM or Direct Entry Midwives, CPM or Certified Professional Midwife, LM or licensed midwife, and CNM or Certified Nurse Midwife. There are no good or bad titles to have behind your name as a midwife they are all just different. In the state of Texas midwives are legal so we have a variety of them here. The most important things to remember when chosing a midwife are not what letters come after their name but if they agree with your birthing philosophy (not just birthing but aftercare too, like circumsicion, breastfeeding and the like), that you feel comfortable with them, and that they have the experience that you require. My midwife was experienced with both breech deliveries and twin homebirths and I needed that for my peace of mind. I did not want to be transferred to another practitioner in case those cases were to arise but I still wanted someone that was comfortable enough giving me the type of birth that I wanted. While I never used her abilities in either of these subjects I could have easily and almost did (Kate was a twin pregnancy in early ultrasounds but after bleeding and passing clots only one baby was confirmed in later ultrasound, and Calvin was breech until late in the game).

Jackie Griggs, CNM was my midwife with both of my deliveries.  She does both birth center and homebirths. Her birth center is beautiful and very much like a home with great tubs for laboring in. She very much believes in letting your body do what it must and that the woman is strong enough to have the birth that she wants. She never micromanged my pregnany or birth. Did not push tests on me that I didnt want and never pressured me into getting an ultrasound or anything that I did not want. She has options for those that want all of the tests and she will do them and she has places where she refers people if there are any issues that arise that need a second opinion. She is an IBCLC which was important to me since not breastfeeding was not an option to me and I wanted help to be available if I were to need it.  We met one of her backup doctors and he is a great OB that is natural birth friendly. I will discuss more about him in the OB section of this list. His name is David Janowitz.

Pat Jones she is a CNM as well and has a million years of experience with birth. She is also the founder of B.I.R.T.H. which is responsible for helping many families get education that has helped them reach their goal of raising a natural family, starting with having a natural birth. I have known her personally for a few years and was the very first midwife that I came into contact with in the Houston area. I know countless mothers who have birthed with her and she is a wonderful person. She has written many articles and is a wonderful source for information on natural living.

Kellie Moeller another CNM.  She has worked closely with Pat Jones in the past.  Very gentle demeanor and a true gem to have while in the hardest part of your labor.

Jane Hitch a CPM. She was a La Leche leader and Bradley Method instructor so she brings with her a great deal of knowledge and experience.

Chris Duffey an excellent midwife who truly believes in the power of the human body. She does not pressure you into anything, even in circumstances where other midwives might feel more inclined to like being postdate. She is an LM and I have heard nothing but wonderful recommendations from those that have used her services.

Natalie Womack with a peaceful demeanor she has helped guide many women through successful pregnancies. She is an LM, CPM.

Cathy Rude she is a CPM and services the Katy area.

Carol Schumacher years of education in breastfeeding and natural childbirth. She is a CPM.

Camellia May she works with Jackie Griggs my midwife and is an LM. She is sweet and positive, a great source of knowledge on the case against circumcision and always up to date in the happenings of the midwifery and natural living world.

Doulas

What is a doula? Well a doula is an assitant to the mother while in labor. She is not a medical practitioner but she is something who is there during and after the labor helping in many ways.  Statistics prove that births with doulas whether in the hospital or not tend to be shorter and less painful, they also tend to have outcomes that the mothers are happier with. For both of my births I have had Carmen as a birth assistant. She works with Jackie and she was a wonderful doula for our family.  She speaks spanish and is a native of Monterrey Mexico so her and my mother hit it off. My mother was at both of my births and she had no previous experience with homebirths in the United states so having Carmen there helped my mother a great deal. Carmen is a trained midwife in Mexico and served as one there.  She brought me after birth nourishment when I needed it, massaged my back, and was a great source of support for my mother and husband. A good doula is worth her weight in gold. While I do not have much experiences with doulas personally because of my experience with Carmen I do know many mothers who have had doulas at their births and they are all too happy to talk wonders about them.

Sally Head and Debbie Hull have both been used by many of my friends and fellow birthing hippies.  Patti Heimlich is also another doula with excellent references among my crowd.

Susie Milner is another good doula who has helped many women during their labors.

Kimberley Traylor she is a lactation consultant, doula, and tons of other stuff all rolled into one. She is a true cheerleader when you need her and I personally love her dearly. She is an activist for natural living causes and works very hard.

Just like when chosing a midwife, what you should remember when making your choice is not what others have done but what works for you and how comfortable you feel with them. Your OB or midwife can also give you good referrals to doulas that they have worked with in the past. If you are having a hospital birth then it would benefit you to pick a doula that has experience working in hospitals since being a doula in a hospital is very different than having a doula for a homebirth. Also a word of caution… if your OB or midwife says that they do not allow their clients to have doulas… that is your cue to run as fast as you can the other way.

OB/GYN

The houston community is not really very friendly to natural birth. I will begin by saying that. Most people truly dedicated to having a natural birth know that having a natural birth in a hospital is really an uphill battle. I personally would only chose to birth in a hospital if it were a life and death circumstance or something close to that. It is unfortunate that we do not have a great deal of options but we do have some and those who are available to us are valuable.

I spoke of Dr Janowitz earlier in this post.  He is really a character. He is one of the few doctors that still attends VBACs (Vaginal Birth After Cesearean) and he does not push for patients to get drugs or episitomies.  He helped us after our hospital transfer with Katherine, if I had to go to a hospital for a birth I would chose a doctor like him because he is a real find.

Then there is Dr. Stephen Guilliams which is highly recommended for VBACs. He is the backup for Pat Jones and delivers at West Houston Medical Center. *EDITED JANUARY 2009* While I am sure that Dr G is a great doctor and from what i hear he is really a respectful guy, stay far far away from this medical center. It is a cess pool.

Larry Milner he is another one of the backups for my midwife. Very natural birth friendly.

Last but not least there is a combo of midwives and OBs practice called The Women Specialists they have midwives who are all CNMs who will assist you at having your hospital birth (these do not do homebirth or birth center births) if you are low risk, and if needed you are transferred to one of their OBs which are all very natural birth friendly. This practice is a happy medium for many people because it really blends the midwifery model of care with being in a hospital in case you need anything that a hospital has to offer.

Whatever you chose and whatever you do remember that you are trying to chose what is best for you and for your children.

I know that when I look into these little faces I try to do what I can to make sure that things are ok.