This I believe.

I believe that reproductive freedom includes a woman’s right to give birth in the way that she needs. I believe that once the choice is made to reproduce the woman should have a birth and pregnancy that is respectful to her and her wishes. I deserve to be treated like a human being not a number when I am giving birth to my children, and my desires should be followed. I believe in the power of my bodyand that I should trust it. I truly and honestly believe, no…. I KNOW that education is absolutely necessary to empower a woman to have the birth that she needs and to fight for her right to have her child in the fashion that so suits her.

I believe that giving birth is not dangerous and that it is not something that women must be saved from.  This rite of passage has been taken away from us over the year and we need to take it back. I am thankful for skilled doctors that have made the few csections that are necessary available for women who need them but am sad that our csection rate is so unbelievably high. I am thankful for the experienced midwives who are here for women who chose their care.   We have lost the art of helping women in labor when labor became a medical event. I believe in the strength that doulas and other support people give to a woman when she is at her most vulnerable and I believe that more of them are needed. I should have the right to dictate how, when, and where I am going to give birth. I and only I, not my husband, not my family, not my friends, and certainly not the government.

I believe that nothing compares to catching your own child in your hands as they are born and having your face be the first one that they see. I believe that a healthy mother matters as much as a healthy child and that once we chose to give life our needs and rights do not cease to be important.  I believe in the thousands of women who have done this before me and who will do it after me, our hearts are one at this moment.  I believe that giving birth in my home is safe and that I have instinct on my side.  I believe in a gentle birth for both mother and child. I believe in my ability to chose what is best for me and my family. Most of all, I believe that my family deserves a peaceful beginning.

They dont complain. They dont ask why the doctor is doing this. They dont have families that care.  They dont have choices.

I find it sad that OBs are being taught on a robot how to treat a pregnant human being. Do you think that these docs are going to be ok with a women who wants to walk around, change positions, or ask questions? Of course not, they have not been trained for it… they have been trained to treat women and their fetuses like a piece of furniture.

The medicalization of birth brought some obvious negative things along with it, and the whole “forgetting that women are people and should be treated as such” thing must be one of them.

The future of childbirth is dark and cold. I fear for my daughter.

It is appropriate that this post is about pediatricians then I guess because that is what happens after you have a baby… you have to visit a pediatrician.  While you dont have to, most people chose to because they want to weigh the baby, make sure that it is ok, possibly get tests done and after a while vaccines.

This is part of my “Where do I go for…” in the Houston area series.

We dont really see our pediatricians unless we are sick. We did well baby visits for a while with Kate and every time we went to got the third degree about not getting the vaccines that we “needed” to get.  Our ped is actually pretty good about not pressuring and about not immediately giving kids antibiotics for no reason and we really like him… but he is still a doctor.

We use the Pediatric Medical Group.  Our doctor is James Allison.  My BFF Devin uses Dr. Injac. That whole group is very good about respecting parents in regards to their decisions on their children’s health and well being.  The group was started by a doctor who understood parents and was very much into informed consent.

Some people dont believe that a pediatrician is really necessary but that a general pracitioner are just fine. I tend to agree.  One of the doctors that are holistic and respectful of personal decisions is Nellie Grose.

Another pediatrician who is open to alternative ideas and who respects parents is Krenie Stowe.  She often gives talks on infant and toddler care and on how to deal with common illnesses without medical intervention.

These are the most common pediatricians recommended in the greater houston area, there are others and I will add more in later posts the more that I find out more about them. Like I said before, I cannot and will not recommend someone that I do not have some kind of persoanl experience with.

And as an update to my birthing choices post about hospitals, midwives, and OBs. I have to add.

Stay far far away from West Houston Medical Center. A friend of mine is there right now and it is a fight and a half. They know nothing about breastfeeding and if she wasnt an educated mother she would be well on her way to having no supply for the baby and the baby would never be with her.

It lumped unassisted births (where there is no medical practitioner present, not even a midwife) and homebirths all in the same category. They are not at all the same thing. A midwife is highly trained and many of us (me included) would never have a homebirth without a midwife. I know people that have had unassisted births and that works for them. Not for me.

I like that the media is putting homebirth in the news at least… but i hate how it is portrayed.

Why dont they ever talk about how dangerous hospitals are for most pregnancies? How the US does dismally when compared to other nations regarding infant mortality?

I really wish that people were given the real low down on their birthing choices.

That describes our year so far.

We slept early on new years eve and have a nice little family weekend since then.

Devin my BFF had her second baby boy on New years. He is beautiful and his feet at tiny and his nail are sharp. He was born in their home, in their big tub, in the caul.  Her birth was picture perfect and they are all happy and healthy.  He has no name but he will soon.  Seeing her happy and relaxed you wouldnt think she had a baby a few days ago.

It almost makes we want another one. Almost. It sure as hell makes my uterus twitch.

I had our little Cal recently…. so I dont need a new baby… but knowing that this is our last baby makes me sad sometimes.

Oh well… happy birthday “No name baby”. We love ya and my kiddos cant wait to get ahold of you to play with you and Aidan, the happy older brother.

Yes, the baby might be ok… but what about the mother?

Having a traumatic birth can lead to a host of other problems that really make this comment quite insensitive.

Having csection can lead to bowel and urinary issues. Infections. Adhesions.  Obviously much more than this.

But honestly, I am not talking about the physical side effects of birth.. which are many that most women arent even aware of. If you were a woman that had an epidural or pitocin… did your doctor properly explain the issues that you could have with both of them? Did they tell you about how it can lead to trouble breastfeeding to get an epidural? How it increases your chances of forceps or even a csection?  Did doctors tell you that uterine ruptures are more common with pitocin? I dont know why most women that get these things dont know that. What happened to informed consent?

Anyways.. I am not even talking about that when I am talking about the side effects that not having the birth that you want to have has on a woman. I am talking about the emotional side effects. The physical ones everyone will see. The scars and the pain, the headaches, and the shivers… but the ones that are deep inside of you are harder to fix.

I was told that women forget labor. I believe that some people still believe that…. but I dont see how they can.  I know women who talk about every detail of how each of their children came into the world. They know their weights, their length. Thew know how long their pushes and they know how long they were in labor for.  They remember holding on to their husband’s hands and making them turn white with every contraction.  They remember the sounds of the beeps of the fetal monitors or the warm relaxation that the shower created after it fell on their backs.  I remember every bit of my labors all 5 million hours that they each lasted. I remember the feelings that came afterwards.  I also remember the peace that came thanks to being at home and being able to sit back and enjoy my child without it being taken away.

You know what else women remember? When medical practitioners do things against their wishes that lead to other things. When membranes are sweeped that lead to accidental water breakage… which puts the mother in a timer as to when she must deliver.

When pitocin is given in an IV to speed things up.

When a woman is given and episiotomy instead of being allowed to tear naturally or letting her skin expand.

Women remember those first few minuts or hours with empty arms because their child was taken away, sometimes without even being told why and without a reason.

Women remember the lack of respect that they are shown.

Women remember the sensation of having your arms tied down while having surgery, so you cant even hold your baby.

Women remember when people tell them “at least you are ok” after ending up with a dissappointing or traumatic birth. They remember that these words minimize our own wants and feelings and turn us into little more than vessels for new life.

Yes a healthy baby is important and nobody in their right mind would willingly put their life or their fetus’s life at risk just to prove a point. No having a child is not always 100% safe and complications do arise.  Everybody knows that.  But why it is assumed that having a healthy child will immediately cure all of the holes in a woman’s body or heart?

One of the recommendations to women who get Post Partum Depression (which I am very familar with) is to take care of themselves. To get sunshine.  Rest when you can. Dont forget to take baths and comb your hair. SImple things that many women forget to do because they are so involved in being a new mother, or are too tired to do sometimes.  So why are women told to just get over their feelings after a birth that didnt go completely right? Why arent those feelings minized by assuming that the baby will make it all better?

I firmly beleive that this dismissal of a woman’s feelings about her birth experience leads to women feeling like they should not feel bad about the birth. Feeling guilty because they do, even selfish.  Why should we be made to feel selfish because we care about what happens to our bodies?  A woman who is not allowed to work through her feelings and is made to feel bad because of them bottles them up inside, and can lead to a depression that might be difficult to get over because honestly… few people would understand it.

Of course many of these dissapointing birth experiences stem from not being listened to about their wishes to begin with…

I find it sad that many women declare their wish for natural births… yet if you talk to an OBGYN many of them have not even seen a natural birth in their time as a doctor. This have gone so far that the “new” definition of natural birth is a vaginal birth.  Vaginal does not equal natural.  Having a baby come out of your vagina while you are hopped up on painkillers so that you can stand the pitocin being run through your veins because you got induced because your doctor was going on vacation this weekend and you hadnt gone into labor and it was Friday evening.. that is NOT natural.

I have a few pregnant friends right now.  We talked about how our home births helped heal the birth experiences that our own mothers have had and that our husbands had been exposed to.  My mother had 2 csections after long labors and failure to progress.  Doctors told her she was unable to have a baby vaginally because she was so skinny and we were so large (i was 7 ponds 11 ounces btw), her experience was dissapointing and at almost 60 years old she had to have a surgery fixing something that she was still having problems with after her last csection over 25 years ago.  My births were healing for her in a way that many wont understand. SHe saw what she wanted her birth to be.  She saw my happiness and my joy.  She didnt see me chock full of wires and tubes and she didnt see me cut open and in pain.  Birth can be a healing experience for many mothers. I know that mothers who have had “bad”  births feel like their subsequent births are a way to start fresh.

The day that one gives birth to their child is one of the most important days of a woman’s life.  Few days have ever brought such happiness or such heartache for many a woman.  We should have the experience that we want if we can, and if we cant our feelings should be taken into consideration and addressed.  Women are not selfish for feeling let down after a birth that did not go the way it was planned.  The physical and emotional scars are real.   No matter if it was an unnecesary csection or if it was being told when to push or not. A woman’s body is hers and her child is hers.  We should be allowed to mourn for the loss of what we wanted and not be told “a healthy baby is all that matters, at least you are ok”, because in many cases… we arent ok.

Some as serious as, the best person to give birth with and to use as a doctor or midwife… to as simple as the best place to get a haircut.

So I am starting a series on my blog called “Where should I go for…?”

I am going to write my initial list for each topic and update it as needed. My goal for next year is to have a list of some of the best places for children and families, as well as the most natural friendly establishments and green supporters. My first topic came naturally while thinking about the topic that I get asked about the most. What do I get more emails, phone calls, and messages about? Birth.

Birthing options are some of the most important things that one can make decisions on. We research for ages before getting a house note, a new computer, hell even a new phone… but when it comes to our healthcare providers we seem to just assume that they will all know what is best and do what is best.  While there are some great providers out there it is important to make sure that you really get one that meshes well with you.

While it is no secret that I drank the koolaid when it comes to homebirth, I understand that because of monetary, health, or other reasons women might not be able to have a homebirth or even want one.  Because of this I am including in my list options for all types of births. Of course this list is not the end all be all of birth in Houston and I really dont wish for it to be seen as that. This is only a collection of names gathered by a woman who spends way too much time researching and talking to people. I am onlt going to write about those who I know personally, know someone that knows them personally, or feel comfortable recommending. If you see anything here that you believe is off please let me know. I am always happy to learn more about the subject.

Let’s start off with what I know the best…. midwives.

Not only did I drink the kool aide of homebirth love, my husband did too and I know that part of why he was so happy with our last birth was because we had a good support team there with us.  Because of them we were able to stay at home in peace and immediately all bond as a family… so it makes sense that I am very inclined to be partial to the midwifery model of care and homebirth.

There are different types of midwives. There are DEM or Direct Entry Midwives, CPM or Certified Professional Midwife, LM or licensed midwife, and CNM or Certified Nurse Midwife. There are no good or bad titles to have behind your name as a midwife they are all just different. In the state of Texas midwives are legal so we have a variety of them here. The most important things to remember when chosing a midwife are not what letters come after their name but if they agree with your birthing philosophy (not just birthing but aftercare too, like circumsicion, breastfeeding and the like), that you feel comfortable with them, and that they have the experience that you require. My midwife was experienced with both breech deliveries and twin homebirths and I needed that for my peace of mind. I did not want to be transferred to another practitioner in case those cases were to arise but I still wanted someone that was comfortable enough giving me the type of birth that I wanted. While I never used her abilities in either of these subjects I could have easily and almost did (Kate was a twin pregnancy in early ultrasounds but after bleeding and passing clots only one baby was confirmed in later ultrasound, and Calvin was breech until late in the game).

Jackie Griggs, CNM was my midwife with both of my deliveries.  She does both birth center and homebirths. Her birth center is beautiful and very much like a home with great tubs for laboring in. She very much believes in letting your body do what it must and that the woman is strong enough to have the birth that she wants. She never micromanged my pregnany or birth. Did not push tests on me that I didnt want and never pressured me into getting an ultrasound or anything that I did not want. She has options for those that want all of the tests and she will do them and she has places where she refers people if there are any issues that arise that need a second opinion. She is an IBCLC which was important to me since not breastfeeding was not an option to me and I wanted help to be available if I were to need it.  We met one of her backup doctors and he is a great OB that is natural birth friendly. I will discuss more about him in the OB section of this list. His name is David Janowitz.

Pat Jones she is a CNM as well and has a million years of experience with birth. She is also the founder of B.I.R.T.H. which is responsible for helping many families get education that has helped them reach their goal of raising a natural family, starting with having a natural birth. I have known her personally for a few years and was the very first midwife that I came into contact with in the Houston area. I know countless mothers who have birthed with her and she is a wonderful person. She has written many articles and is a wonderful source for information on natural living.

Kellie Moeller another CNM.  She has worked closely with Pat Jones in the past.  Very gentle demeanor and a true gem to have while in the hardest part of your labor.

Jane Hitch a CPM. She was a La Leche leader and Bradley Method instructor so she brings with her a great deal of knowledge and experience.

Chris Duffey an excellent midwife who truly believes in the power of the human body. She does not pressure you into anything, even in circumstances where other midwives might feel more inclined to like being postdate. She is an LM and I have heard nothing but wonderful recommendations from those that have used her services.

Natalie Womack with a peaceful demeanor she has helped guide many women through successful pregnancies. She is an LM, CPM.

Cathy Rude she is a CPM and services the Katy area.

Carol Schumacher years of education in breastfeeding and natural childbirth. She is a CPM.

Camellia May she works with Jackie Griggs my midwife and is an LM. She is sweet and positive, a great source of knowledge on the case against circumcision and always up to date in the happenings of the midwifery and natural living world.

Doulas

What is a doula? Well a doula is an assitant to the mother while in labor. She is not a medical practitioner but she is something who is there during and after the labor helping in many ways.  Statistics prove that births with doulas whether in the hospital or not tend to be shorter and less painful, they also tend to have outcomes that the mothers are happier with. For both of my births I have had Carmen as a birth assistant. She works with Jackie and she was a wonderful doula for our family.  She speaks spanish and is a native of Monterrey Mexico so her and my mother hit it off. My mother was at both of my births and she had no previous experience with homebirths in the United states so having Carmen there helped my mother a great deal. Carmen is a trained midwife in Mexico and served as one there.  She brought me after birth nourishment when I needed it, massaged my back, and was a great source of support for my mother and husband. A good doula is worth her weight in gold. While I do not have much experiences with doulas personally because of my experience with Carmen I do know many mothers who have had doulas at their births and they are all too happy to talk wonders about them.

Sally Head and Debbie Hull have both been used by many of my friends and fellow birthing hippies.  Patti Heimlich is also another doula with excellent references among my crowd.

Susie Milner is another good doula who has helped many women during their labors.

Kimberley Traylor she is a lactation consultant, doula, and tons of other stuff all rolled into one. She is a true cheerleader when you need her and I personally love her dearly. She is an activist for natural living causes and works very hard.

Just like when chosing a midwife, what you should remember when making your choice is not what others have done but what works for you and how comfortable you feel with them. Your OB or midwife can also give you good referrals to doulas that they have worked with in the past. If you are having a hospital birth then it would benefit you to pick a doula that has experience working in hospitals since being a doula in a hospital is very different than having a doula for a homebirth. Also a word of caution… if your OB or midwife says that they do not allow their clients to have doulas… that is your cue to run as fast as you can the other way.

OB/GYN

The houston community is not really very friendly to natural birth. I will begin by saying that. Most people truly dedicated to having a natural birth know that having a natural birth in a hospital is really an uphill battle. I personally would only chose to birth in a hospital if it were a life and death circumstance or something close to that. It is unfortunate that we do not have a great deal of options but we do have some and those who are available to us are valuable.

I spoke of Dr Janowitz earlier in this post.  He is really a character. He is one of the few doctors that still attends VBACs (Vaginal Birth After Cesearean) and he does not push for patients to get drugs or episitomies.  He helped us after our hospital transfer with Katherine, if I had to go to a hospital for a birth I would chose a doctor like him because he is a real find.

Then there is Dr. Stephen Guilliams which is highly recommended for VBACs. He is the backup for Pat Jones and delivers at West Houston Medical Center. *EDITED JANUARY 2009* While I am sure that Dr G is a great doctor and from what i hear he is really a respectful guy, stay far far away from this medical center. It is a cess pool.

Larry Milner he is another one of the backups for my midwife. Very natural birth friendly.

Last but not least there is a combo of midwives and OBs practice called The Women Specialists they have midwives who are all CNMs who will assist you at having your hospital birth (these do not do homebirth or birth center births) if you are low risk, and if needed you are transferred to one of their OBs which are all very natural birth friendly. This practice is a happy medium for many people because it really blends the midwifery model of care with being in a hospital in case you need anything that a hospital has to offer.

Whatever you chose and whatever you do remember that you are trying to chose what is best for you and for your children.

I know that when I look into these little faces I try to do what I can to make sure that things are ok.

Warning: I talk very candidly about what we used and about the birthing process. Please feel free to skip if this grosses you out. I am also not a doctor so please do not use any of these suggestions as an alternative to what a medical practitioner has given you. Please do your own research on the topics below as well and use them at your discretion.

So.. for your pleasure please find below: My homebirth supplies list.

Pads/Depends/chux – you will bleed after the baby comes out. Also the baby might poop meconium. These will come n handy. If you end up with more than you think you might need you can use them as covers for changing tables.
Frozen pads with possibly comfrey/witch hazel – Before you use these to a test run on your skin to see if you are allergic to either product. If you are, it is not a good time to find out on your privates while you are healing from giving birth. These are great for helping witht he pain from birth if you have any, especially if you had tears or bruising.
Mesh panties/dark coloured panties – You dont want to mess up your good panties with the afterbirth bleeding like a stuck pigness
Sitz bath/herb bath- also good for tears and healing, Motherlove has a great spray and herb mixture that works wonders for the pained perineum.
Ice packs or homemade ice packs – These can work well to put in your panties for pain, and some people like the packs to put on parts of your body while in labor to help give you something else to focus on other than contractions. I dont use these like this but if you do, have some handy.
Peri bottle – This will make peeing easier so that it doesnt burn your tears. This will also help you clean up so that you cant have to use towels or paper which can sting when you wipe. This item is very inexpensive but worth EVERY PENNY.

Afterease afterpain tincture – Many women have very bad afterpains that are almost as bad as the contractions from labor. The more kids you have the worse that these get. This tincture can be mixed into some water and taken immediately after the birth. This helped me tons and I knew when I was needing it again because the pain was really bad.
Rescue Remedy- As someone who has real issues “letting go” and who had a tendency to “lose it” this was a godsend for me. It is also great for the assistants, midwives, spouses, family, friends, who are there with you. We had the spray and the pills. I think the spray works better honestly or it works faster. I am not sure but I used it during hour like.. 28 of my labor. WHen I started freaking out and wondering what was wrong with me and why my baby couldnt just come out like it does for so many other women.
Recharge – Very similar to Emergen-C, I didnt buy this because I already had Emergen-C but there is also Labor-Ade which one can make on your own that is great for giving bursts of energy and nutrients while you are in labor. It helps if feeling dehydrated or when feeling tired.
Arnica – Arnica Montana (not to be confused with Hanna Montana LOL, wow I am corny) is a homepathic remedy that has been used for centuries to heal bumps and bruises. There are topicals which give aid directly to the area that needs it and there are pills as well that help heal faster and better. I always have a tube of it at home because with two kids and a husband who refuses to listen to safety precautions we use it quite often.  Also it has been shown to work on people with arthritis as well so keep that in mind.
Wise Ways Merry Mother - This works great as a topical for massages of the abdomen and uterine area.
honey/propolis/honey balms – Honey has great qualities for helping heal wounds. This is a proven thing that has been used even on war wounds. Either honey itself or honey based balms can be used on tears and even have been used on csection scars to prevent infection and promote healing. Obviously do not use this without letting your doctor know if you have a csection but I know that I used it on my tears with my first daughter and many other women have too for tears.
Nori seaweed- Another product that is used to help heal and bind tears. Many people swear by it. My tears with my second were non existant so I didnt get a chance to test this myself but this has been proven before as well to work.
Olive oil- Do I really have to give you a reason to keep Olive Oil around your house? I hope not. During labor this oil can be used to dilute essential oils for back massages and for perineal massages while in the pushing stage. It helps give the skin elasticity to avoid tearing.
Goldenseal- Salves or balms containing this have antinflamatory properties and anti-microbial ones as well. This is good for tears, cuts, bruises, etc. and great for any bruising during/after labor.
Liquid chlorophyll- LC is basically plant blood. It is actually very similar to our blood and it great to have on hand to take after blood loss and to give calcium, cleanse toxins, and it works on more parts of your system. It is great to take after giving birth as it helps you regain your strength faster and feel better faster. I went through a bottle after my son’s birth. It is also a great supplement in case you are looking for something that is safe to take and that works for people of all ages.  Many people that do not take blood transfusions and have had significant blood loss have been able to take LC to help their bodies heal without a transfusion.

You can see some of my oils anad other stuff that I had for birth below. I took it out while I was in early labor so that it would be ready.

Bunches of Oils and stuff

Coconut water- this is for energy and nutrients, the sugars are quick pick me ups

Red Rasp. Leaf brew and Popsicles- RRL helps tone your uterus and can make contractions more effective. It also has nutrients that are important for your body. I mix it with Nettle because nettle also has some great repleneshing bits for during and after labor. Teas of the plants are good as well as tinctures but I mention popsicles because I love cold popsicles while in labor. LOVE THEM. Many women prefer cold during labor as well so this might work for them. If you mix in a little mint in the tea that makes it tastier, you can also add some honey or agave necter for flavor.
Tea tree oil- Great for cleaning and antiseptic uses. Can be used to disinfect labor supplies, table tops, etc.
Peroxide- can be used for cleaning cord stump and on cuts/tears/etc. Just as a side note, we didnt do anything to the cord stump with our son… anything at all.. and it came off on its own in 4 days.
Sterilized scissors to cut cord- midwife probably has this
Cord clamp- self explanatory
Cloth or diaper for placenta if lotus birth- Lotus Birth is practiced by some and they need a place to set the placenta on so that it doesnt stain everything in sits on with blood and goo. We did not do this but we did delay cutting the cord until it stopped pulsating. THis was important to us and I believe that it is a great important part of homebirth. If you are chosing to do a Lotus Birth then you need this, if not then you dont.

Cookie sheet or large bowl/basin/bucket for placenta – YOu need somewhere to put it so that it can be examined. We kept ours and it is in our freezer. We plan to plant it underneath a tree or something one day.

Cookie sheet or tray/tupperware for birth ‘mise en place’-  For those of you that cook, you might know the definition of this term. Basically it is a term for having everything that you need out and ready to go. To me it is important to have everything you will need for your birth out and ready because you really dont want to be in the middle of contractions going “where did I put those honey sticks”. What I did was I put two plastic containers with locking lids our on the table where I had my birthing supplies. One was for during birth, one was for afterwards. That way when I gave birth and felt like I needed my Liquid Chlorophyll I asked for it and said “It is in my “After the Birth” container”. It was found and brought promptly to me. You have to keep in mind that the midwife doesnt know your home. Her assistant doesnt know your home. Your partner probably either doesnt know, or wont want to think about where you put things last minute. It is ok, you just need to help them.

You can see the two bins with lids in the picture below.

Birth supplies

Large freezer bags for placenta- In case you want to freeze it
‘Puke’ bucket just in case – Just in case

Shower curtain/mattress cover- this is basically a tarp for your bed and to put undernear the birting pool if there will be one. If you like the mattress buy a tarp. Seriously.

Garbage bags- for trash or for storage of stuff
Old towels or sheets – For keeping the baby and you warm after the birth or to dry up after being in the pool. Also the sheets will most likely get ruined so an old set that you dont care about will work best.
Unopened pack of paper towels-for wiping, cleaning, etc. we didnt use a whole roll but it was nice to have some around. I hate paper towels but that is a whole other post.
Bendy straws- For sipping of juices or water while in labor and for afterwards so you can have your chlorophyll and after ease without sitting up. They came in handy, they really do.
Honey sticks/chocolate/fruit/fruit juice for sugar boost- i used these organic agave nextar sticks they worked great for a shot of energy and were delish.
Broth- for nutrients, in case you dont want to eat anything

Ice cubes- for anything that you can think of, to put on your forehead, to put in a sock to put in your back, to put in drinks… anything.
Blow up/kiddie/birthing pool- in case you are having a pool birth which we did. This was ours. You can see our Mis En Place in the background. Yes I gave birth in our library. What a better place to give birth to a baby than a room surrounded by books?

Birthin' Pool

Soft bathmat for inside tub- i had a blowup bath pillow so that I could get on my knees without them hurting and so that I could lay my head on.
Warm towels/blankets/receiving blankets in the dryer- or in a paperbag inside of an oven at 200 degrees, or in a crock pot. this is to keep the new baby and mama warm.
Hot water bottle/heating pad- we had hot packs that are filled with rice and flax seed that can be put in the microwave to get hot. some people like hot, others like cold… i like heat for my pain.
Cold washcloths- i am sure we have all seen the movies and shows with the woman on her back with her knees up and them putting cold washcloths on her forehead and using them to soak up the sweat right? yeah.. thats what they are for. I never used them but I didnt push for hours and hours so I didnt sweat.
Candles/lighter etc.- to keep the light low, some mamas like no light when in labor
Lighting/light source – this is for underwater mostly. A flashlight is good for seeing a crowning head, meconium in water, blood, to check things underwater, etc…
Washcloths for compresses- warm compresses can work to help protect the perineum while pushing out the baby

Crockpot or sturdy bowl with hot water for compresses- see above for reason why the compresses might work for

Mirror- If you want to see yourself while you are pushing and the baby is crowning
Paper for placenta print- this is obviously optional, it looks like a tree when you do a print.. might be kind of cool.. some people like to do this
Ink for baby foot print- have a couple of them on hand. one that we had didnt work so i had another type. putting foot prints on shirts and stuff is cool too.

waterproof diposable camera- of course for use in waterbirth

connector for pool- for filling it up
foodsafe waterhose- for filling it up, I used foodsafe but I have been told it doesnt have to be
waterpump -for taking water out of pool, apparently this is a lifesaver and easier than using buckets

Aquarium net – for “debris” and by that I mean poop in case you do poop or pieces of the bag of waters that you might want skimmed off of the top of the water.

If you feel like you need something not on this list ask your midwife about it and see if he or she doesnt already have it. I assumed things like gloves, amniotic hook, and stuff will either be part of the Birth Kit or your midwife will tell you about. My list is mostly of things that dont appear on many birth kits that you might need.

Now, list of food. I froze lots of food before hand so that we would have stuff easily defrosted and we wouldnt have to cook but still have healthy meals. Some of this stuff will also serve as snacks for during labor or for those that are there assisting you during labor. SO they dont starve.

Freezable Foods:

burgers
Veggie bean burgers
Pancakes (I made some great blueberry pancakes that froze beautifully)
Waffles
Lots of breads, rolls, tortillas, and dough
Frozen fruits for smoothies
Navy/Pinto BeansChili

Soups (I made cassoulet which was divine and really hearty)
Lasagna
Mac n cheese (this freezes really well)
Meatloaf or Meatballs (without sauce, just plain. these can be put in sauce later or just eaten on their own)
Mini pizzas
Mashed potatoes
Scalloped potatoes
Pulled pork – this freezes really nicely
Ravioli, manicotti, and stuffed shells
Cookie dough, frozen in spoon size scoops
Hummus (can be used as a snack during labor too, full of protein)
Veggies, pre-chopped and flash frozen
Burritos
popsicles
Nuts – fast snack food delish and full of nutrients

This post is about birth, babies, labor, and pain. You have been warned.

My son (it feels so weird to say that) will be 3 months old this weekend.

He was born at home. In the water. I had planned to give birth in one of those fancy birthing tubs but I gave birth in a small fishy pool that you can get for the kids for 25 dollars at Target. In our den. I was on my hands and knees. Gloria said that I gave birth like a mare. It was so primal. I didnt specifically chose to give birth on hands and knees but my body told me that I should. I just listened.

His birth was such an imperfect perfect experience. It was so long. So unbelievably long. It was hard and it was hard work. They dont call it labor for nothing…

In the tub

At the end of the day, even after the pain of unmedicated labor that lasts for days… I am thankful that I was at home. I am thankful that I did not have any medication for pain or anything to speed up my labor. I am thankful that I was not in a hospital, where labors as long as mine are not easily tolerated and where I would have been pushed to have pitocin at best, if not a csection. I am thankful that I was able to eat which was probably one of the only reasons why I had the strength that I had to go on for so long. I was thankful that I was able to walk around, move, sit in a tub, take a shower, sit on a yoga ball, and do whatever I wanted… I am thankfuly that my daughter was able to watch me work through giving birth to her brother, even if she is too young to remember it later.

Kate kissing me in labor

I am thankful that when it was all over I was able to lay down in my own bed. Under my own sheets. I am thankful that I was not poked and proded, that my child was not taken from me, and that we were all at peace at home. The way we were meant to be. I am so thankful for it all… for the peacefulness that accompanied us afterwards… for my midwife Jackie… for the support of my husband.. and for the fact that I was able to have the birth that I wanted when I wanted.

I wish the same for every woman.

Happy 1st quarter to my little Calvin. I love you.